


Desparate Measures

by HeartnArrow



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Bands, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Child Abuse, Coming Out, Doctor/Patient, Fluff, Freeform, Gay Male Character, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Inspired by Music, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Making Out, Smut, older ashton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2018-07-25 07:59:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 22
Words: 28,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartnArrow/pseuds/HeartnArrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” ― Martin Luther King Jr.<br/>Ashton works at the local ER in Sydney, Australia. Luke is a frequent patient there. He comes there nearly on a weekly basis, each time with more and more bruises on his body. Ashton soon befriends Luke and learns why he’s always at the ER.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Guess This Just Got Kinda Drastic

**Author's Note:**

> This is my new lashton story. I've had the idea for the this for about a year and have been working on it for months. Hope you enjoy it!:)

_ “Have a piece of American dream _

_ Open up, and swallow, on your knees _

_ And say "Thank you" _

_ I'd like some desperate measures, please _

_ For a first effort this,  _

_ Feels kinda last ditch _

_ I guess this just _

_ Got kinda drastic.” _

__ \- Marianas Trench (Desperate Measures) _ _

 

Luke fidgeted with his fingers nervously as he stood in front of his dad. His father was his main adult figure growing up. He looked up to the man, he had dirty blonde hair much like his own and sterling blue eyes with an overgrown beard. They would go to football games together, watch comedies together and give them ratings, do things that normal sons do with their dads. Luke briefly let his eyes meet his dad’s, then quickly looked away. 

“What did you want to tell me?” his father asked curious. Luke couldn’t bare to look in his father’s eyes. He had to tell him but he couldn’t stand the thought of his dad not looking at him the same. He began pacing, anxiety filling his lungs. 

“Son, you’re starting to worry me. What’s wrong?” Luke sighed, making his way over to the coffee table, sitting on top of it. He took deep breaths, trying to slow his heart rate down which was currently going at 100 miles per hour. 

“What is it? Did you get a girl pregnant or something?” Luke nearly wanted to laugh at that, had he not been so nervous. He let out a deep breath and avoided eye contact as he told his father. 

“Dad, I’m g-gay,” he stuttered, biting his lip nervously. 

“You’re joking right?” his dad asked chuckling at the mere thought of his son being gay. Luke shook his head with a lump in his throat. 

“I can’t believe this,” he muttered as he stood up. A look came over his dad’s face that he had never seen before in his entire life. He was furious and maybe even felt a little betrayed. 

“You cannot be gay, son. You are not gay. No son of mine would be gay,” he went on rambling the last part piercing Luke like glass. His father was pacing back and forth in front of the TV. Timidly, Luke stood up, facing him. 

“But I am, dad. I’m gay. I like boys the way I’m supposed to like girls,” he said with sudden bravado. He suddenly felt something hit his face, right in the cheek. He turned his head to see his dad was the one to slap him. And it didn’t stop there. 

Ashton was leaning against the receptionist desk. He would get off his shift in just two minutes. He loved his job but it had been a long day and frankly he couldn’t wait to get home. 

“Doing anything on your day off tomorrow?” Kyle asked Ashton. Kyle too worked at the hospital. 

“Other than sleeping no,” he replied with a chuckle. 

“Maybe we can go out for drinks tomorrow night if  you want to?” Kyle asked casually. Just then a group of nurses came running down the hallway with a stretcher. On the stretcher was a boy who looked rather young but it was hard to tell with the bruises all over his face. 

“Ashton, we could use your help,” one of the nurses called. 

“Course,” he said, joining in the group. 

It didn’t take them too long to fix Luke up. He wasn’t that bad. He had bruises here and there. His dad was in the waiting room the entire time, without a shred of remorse. Luke was awake now, laying in the cheap hospital bed. The room was small and empty. Only one other person occupied the room other than Luke. 

“How are you feeling?” Ashton asked the boy. He was suppose to leave hours ago yet here he was. 

“Okay,” he said sitting himself up in the bed, getting a better view of Ashton. He had short curly dirty blonde locks and perfectly tanned skin with the most amazing hazel eyes. He wore light blue scrubs and looked rather young to be working at a hospital. 

Ashton too took notice of the boy in the room. He had pale skin, lengthy legs and blonde hair that sometime during the operation, fell out of its usual quiff. 

“You like Marianas Trench?” Ashton asked the boy, taking note of his band shirt. 

“Yeah, they’re like my favorite band,” he said smiling a bit. 

“Me too.” The room fell silent, both avoiding the elephant in the room. Luke had bruises all over his face, his left eye was black and his lip was cut. Ashton took the seat beside the bed, lowering his voice before speaking. 

“Who did this to you?” he asked. Fear flashed in Luke’s eyes before he quickly brushed it off. 

“Got jumped on my way home from school. Never saw who they were.” 

“Really? You leave school this late at night?” Ashton said in an non-accusing way. Luke sank into the bed. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.” Luke glanced up at him, trying to hold back his smile. 

“You’re really cool, for a doctor.” Ashton chuckled. 

“Well, you’re really cool, for a kid.” Both boys crackled, laughter filling the air. A tall figure entered the room making Luke curl up in fear, something he had never done before. Ashton made a mental note of this and wondered if he was another case of child abuse. He had seen quite a lot of those. It was sad and really hard to understand why a parent would intentionally hurt their own child. It was the parent's job to protect their child from harm but who can protect them when it’s their parent that’s causing the harm. 

“Luke, you’re all checked out, let’s go,” the man said, not daring to look his son in the eye. Ashton figured he was his father. He stood up and backed away. The blonde haired boy stood up from the bed. 

“It was nice meeting you,” Ashton called to the boy as he left the room causing the boy to smile. Luke and his dad walked to his Cadillac in silence. Luke was afraid to speak, afraid he’d get hit again. He noticed how his dad didn’t even spare him a glance the whole way home. 

“Your mother would be ashamed of you,” he told his son as he pulled up to their house which was a large white mansion with a white picket fence. Luke just stared out the window, wondering what his mother would say. And he would like to think his mom would welcome him with open arms and tell him he could love whoever he wanted. Then again, he thought his dad would be like that too but he’d proven to act otherwise. Luke exited the car without a word, heading up to his room where he locked his door and turned on Marianas Trench. He grabbed his phone seeing texts from his best friend, Michael. 

Michael: How did it go?

Michael: r u ok?

Michael: ????

Luke didn’t bother replying and laid on his bed, trying to fall asleep without thinking of his father. 


	2. Waiting on Some Beautiful Boy

_ “You sit there in your heartache _

_ Waiting on some beautiful boy to  _

_ To save you from your old ways _

_ You play forgiveness _

_ Watch it now _

_ Here he comes.” _

 

  * __The Killers (When You Were Young)__



 

Luke arrived to school just before the bell rang. He wore his usual black skinny jeans and band shirt but wore a leather jacket and beanie to try and hide the cuts and bruises he covering his body. He went to his first hour class seeing his best friend, Michael in his usual seat. Luke pulled the hood over his head to try and hide his black eye. He took the seat next to Michael trying not to get noticed. The teacher walked in. Luke hated her, she was very strict and had short brown hair that stuck to her face. She walked around like she had a stick up her ass. 

“No hoods in class,” she scolded him. Luke carefully pulled his hood off his head, his classmates were now all staring at him. He had a cut on his lip that had started bleeding again along with a very obvious black eye that not even a girl could cover with makeup. Michael looked at him bewildered, he seemed concerned and scared at the same time. He didn’t stop looking at Luke the entire class. Once class let out, Michael followed him through the hallways, consistently calling his name. 

“Luke!”

“Luuuuke.”

“Lucas.”

“Goddammit, Lucas Robert Hemmings!” his friend shouted. He was right in front of his next class now, Michael still in front of him with worry written all over his face. Luke turned around facing his friend. 

“What happened to your face?” he asked. Luke sighed knowing he couldn’t tell Michael. There wasn’t anything worth telling. It was a one time thing that would never happen again, at least that’s what Luke kept telling himself.

“I got jumped on my way home from school.” Michael studied his eyes, not believing his lie. 

“You sure? Did you see who did it??” Luke shook his head. 

“No, they had masks on. It’s fine Michael. I’m fine,” he said repeating as though he wasn’t sure, as if, if he kept repeating those two words he would start to believe them. 

“You sure? You don’t look fine.” His friend met his gaze with worried eyes. They had been best friends since primary, they told each other everything, Michael was the first person he came out to. But he couldn’t tell him this. He still didn’t want to admit what happened, and he knew once he said the words out loud, there was no taking them back. Everything would change and Luke wasn’t sure if he was ready for that. He didn’t want his dad taken away from him. What his dad did was wrong but he still loved him, he was still his dad and Luke wasn’t sure what he would do without his father. 

“Yeah, just tired,” he stated going off to his next class. 

Ashton arrived home from work, going to lay on the couch to see his best friend and roommate, Calum lying on. 

“Cal, move,” Ashton groaned as he tried to pull Calum off the couch. His friend unwillingly moved his legs so Ashton could sit beside him. 

“We should have a guys night tonight,” he suggested. 

“Can’t, have work.” The black haired boy groaned out loudly causing his friend to chuckle. 

“Why do you always have to work? We never get to have Cal and Ash time anymore,” he whined. 

“So I can pay for the apartment that you live in. I’m not working tomorrow night, we can hang out then.” 

“Yay! We’re going to the club. I haven’t gotten laid in forever and I’m guessing the same goes for you,” Calum exclaimed practically jumping up and down. 

“You know you can go out without me, right?” Ashton asked raising his eyebrows at his friend. 

“That would be breaking the bro code. It’s dangerous to go out alone.” Ashton chuckled. 

“Cal, you’re 20 years old and we live in Australia, you can go out alone. It’s not like we live in the ghetto.” 

“You never know who could be lurking the streets.” Ashton chuckled at his best friend smiling. 

Luke hesitantly made his way over to his and Michael’s usual lunch table. His red dyed haired friend was on his phone with a Ninja Turtle lunch box in front of him. He looked up when seeing the blonde approach him. He took his seat, setting down his lunch. Michael didn’t say a word just looked at Luke’s face, noticing all the cuts and bruises that covered it. 

“Wow, they really got you bad,” he commented. Luke sighed grabbing an apple from his lunch tray. 

“Can we not talk about that.” Michael nodded. 

“So, how did it go with your dad?” he asked instead. Luke wasn’t sure what to say, he hated lying to Michael but he had no choice. 

“I didn’t get the chance to tell him, we went straight to the hospital after my dad found me.”

“How did he find you?” Michael asked still unsure if he believed his friend. 

“I called him. Anyway, are we still on for the club tomorrow night?”

“Yeah, you going to go like that?” he raised an eyebrow at the boy. 

“Not like I really have a choice,” Luke said with a shrug of his shoulders. 

Luke arrived home from school to a quiet, empty house. For once in his life, he was glad his dad wasn’t home. Usually he hated being home alone and would always make Michael come over when he was but not today. He knew if he invited Michael over it would involve talking about his bruises and he didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted to forget it ever happened, go back in time and erase him telling his dad or having his father’s reaction be different. He went into the kitchen seeing a note from his dad:  _ Had to go into work. -dad. _ But Luke couldn’t help but wondered if his dad went into work to avoid facing him. He set down his bag and went up to his room where he turned on his music. His room was filled with CDs and band posters along with scrapbooks his mom had put together when he was younger and yearbooks. Each scrapbook was titled with different years, the inside filled with pictures of trips and activities or events they did. He grabbed one of the scrapbooks, sitting on his bed with it. It was from the years 2005-2008, when his family took him to Disneyland for Spring break. His mother wasn’t sick yet, their family wasn’t broken but rather the perfect happy family. He looked at the pictures of a 10 year old Luke with the different characters at Disney with his parents. His mom was the one who took most of the pictures so she wasn’t in most of them but those she was in, her smile took up the whole picture. She was always happy and loving. So was his dad. His mom was the person he went to for advice and cried into her lap. He went to his dad as well but his mother understood him in a way his dad never could. 

A tear fell from his eyes onto a picture of Luke with his mom. He wondered if she was still alive what her reaction would have been to him coming out. Would she have accepted him? Or would she be right along side with his dad? He couldn’t help but think that she would of accepted him, told him she loved him no matter what and stood up for him against his dad. But she wasn’t there to defend him and Luke didn’t know what he would do if he lost his dad too. It was hard enough losing one parent but if he lost his dad due his sexuality he wasn’t sure how’d he go on. 

Ashton entered the club with Calum. It had been a while since he’d gone out but he wasn’t one to get drunk and have one night stands. He wanted a relationship that wasn’t based off sex. Sure, he wanted to have sex but he didn’t want his relationship to just be about that. He wanted to fall in love and find his soulmate. Calum on the other hand, was having fun being young and good looking. He went over to the bar, getting himself a water being as he would have to drive them home. Calum ordered a beer, flirting with the bartender who was a pretty girl with brown hair and green eyes. 

“When was the last time you went out on a date?” Calum asked his friend. 

“A couple months, not since the breakup with Finn.” The bartender gave them their drinks, Calum thanking her with a wink. 

“Well, then you need to get back in the market. There anyone you’re interested in?”

“No, not really. This guy at work keeps on asking me out but I don’t date people I work with and he’s not my type.” Calum nodded as he got up spotting a girl on the dance floor that caught his eye. 

“Well, I’m gonna go have some fun, don’t be afraid to have some as well,” he told his friend as he went off to the dance floor asking the girl to dance. Ashton chuckled at his friend.

Luke and Michael made their way to the dance floor of the club. They had gotten in with their fake IDs, it wasn’t their first time doing this. Michael came back with drinks handing Luke a beer. He took a long sip letting the alcohol soak his throat, trying to burn away the pain that sucked a hole in his heart. 

“Woah, take it easy,” Michael commented. Luke just flicked him off as he went into the crowd dancing to the beat of the music. 

Ashton sat at the bar, he hadn’t moved and wasn’t planning on it. A couple girls and even a few guys had asked him to dance but he turned them all down, sipping on his water. A blonde boy on the dance floor caught his eye. He danced and grinded like he had no care in the world. Ashton had remembered when he had been like that. He recognized what the boy was feeling, the feeling of just wanting to forget all your problems and worries for one moment, one night. The boy looked lost. He stopped dancing and made his way over to Ashton at the bar. That was when Ashton recognized the boy.  It was the blonde who had been rushed in a couple nights ago at the hospital for a black eye and beating wounds. Luke stopped in his tracks when he saw Ashton. Just staring at his hazel eyes that for some reason made him feel at ease. He made his way over to him. 

“I didn’t know doctors were allowed to go clubbing,” Luke remarked. Ashton chuckled as the blonde took a seat beside him. 

“You’ll be surprised at what doctors are allowed to do,” he said with a smirk making Luke blush red. Ashton thought he looked utterly adorable when he blushed. 

“Speaking of which, aren’t you a little young to be here?” the hazel eyed boy asked. 

“Not according to my fake ID.” The two spent the rest of the night just talking and getting to know each other. They talked of their home lives and likes and dislikes. Despite Luke being younger, Ashton wanted to be friends with him. He was intriguing and different. He seemed a bit lost and Ashton wanted to help the boy find himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of the story so far:)


	3. I Can Never Change

_ “My concrete's set, it's permanent _

_ I'm stuck this way, now I can never change _

_ No, I can't stop if all I've got _

_ Is an empty heart full of broken parts” _

 

  * __As it is (Concrete)__



 

Luke hadn’t talked to his dad all week. They walked on eggshells around each other, his dad making sure to be asleep when Luke went to school and be at work when he arrived home. They would eat dinner in their rooms, Luke having to make his own dinner most nights. It felt wired, not talking to his dad. Things would happen throughout the week that he would want to tell his dad about but couldn’t. It was friday now, a little over a week since he told his dad and they still hadn’t spoken. He hated this radio silence. Not knowing what his dad thought but afraid to know what he thought of him. Despite all efforts not to, Luke wanted his dad. He needed his dad. So, he made dinner for the two of them hoping his dad would take it as a peace offering. His dad didn’t arrive home from work until 7, Luke had finished cooking the dinner and set it out on the table at 6, waiting at the table alone for his father. 

When his dad did arrive home, he was not pleased to see his son. He set his stuff down seeing the dinner Luke had made on the table. 

“What is this?” he asked without looking him in the eye. 

“I made dinner,” Luke said in a small voice as he stood up from the table. His dad raised an eyebrow at him, the only time he had made dinner was the night his mother died. 

“I don’t want to fight with you,” the boy said with a exasperated sigh. 

“Me neither,” his father stated stepping closer to his son. A tiny bit of hope filled Luke’s petite body, holding back a smile from forming on his face. 

“I can’t change who I am. And I know it’s not what you expected or wanted from me but this is me whether you like it or not.” A fire burned in his father’s eyes as he said this. 

“But you can change. Luke, this isn’t you. This is you wanting to experiment.”

“Dad, this is not just experimenting. I’m gay. I like boys, always have, always will,” he told him.

“I’ve known you your whole life. Goddamnit Luke, I raised you,” his dad paused before going on, tears of disappointment and frustration formed in his eyes. 

“And I did not raise you to be like this. This is not the Luke I raised and love. You’re just confused and wanting to try out different things. Which is fine but don’t confuse who you are with experimentation.”

“Did you not hear me? This is not an experiment. I am not confused. This is who I am,” Luke nearly yelled getting frustrated as well, just wanting things with his father to go back to normal but deep down knowing that would never happen.

“How can you know that? You’re only 17!” his father dared to ask.

“I know, I just know,” he said trying to calm himself down, slowing down his breathing. 

“How? Have you kissed a boy before?” he asked with a raised eyebrow afraid of the answer. 

“Yes, and it was far better than kissing a girl. And I’ve done far more than just kissing with a boy,” he yelled, merely just to piss his father off. He slapped him across the face without a second thought. Luke held his hand to his face, he could feel a bruise forming. 

“You will not speak like that in my house! You are a disgrace to this family!”

“Why can’t you just accept this is who I am!” Luke nearly screamed trying to get through to his father. 

“This is not who you are!” he yelled back and slammed his own son against the kitchen table, making his back hit against it, the table cracked in half underneath him, the wood slicing into the skin of his back, Luke’s perfectly made dinner falling to the floor, his head hitting the hardwood floor. His dad left the room without another word of remorse. Luke laid there, staring up at the ceiling with a piercing pain in his back, it felt like someone had stuck a knife in his spine. He was crippled with pain, his head pounding. He wondered how things came to this that his own dad would rather beat him than have a rational conversation with him. Luke hesitantly sat up, he had an intense pain in his back that made him just want to curl up and die. He sat there for a while, trying to find the strength within himself to stand up. With shaky legs he slowly stood up, walking over to a mirror. He looked in it to see the cuts and bruises on his face. He then turned around, there was a piece of wood sticking out of his back. He noticed his dad slip out of  the house with his coat in hand, not daring to look back at the damage he had done. Luke let out a deep sigh as he prepared to pull the piece of wood out of him. He closed his eyes as he did so, screaming out in pain, surely loud enough for the neighbors to hear. Speaking of which, he wondered where they were, if they heard the screaming and fighting. He wasn’t sure if he wanted them to hear, part of him did so maybe it could stop but another part of him didn’t, ‘cause he knew if they did he would lose his father. 

Luke grabbed his leather jacket and car keys. He got in his new black Holden Malibu and drove himself to the hospital, having to wince in pain every few seconds. When he arrived there, he collapsed as soon as he stepped in the building. 

Ashton had been talking with a patient’s mom about her daughter’s condition when he saw Luke stumble into the hospital on weak legs. His face was bruised more and he had a few cuts on his hands, he fell in the floor revealing the blood that was spreading through his back. Ashton told lady to hold on as he rushed over to the blonde. He placed his hand on his shoulder feeling his shallow breath. 

“I need a medic and gurney to front lobby now!” Ashton said into his microphone. 

“Luke? Can you hear me?” He groaned in response, lifting up his head to see those familiar hazel eyes. 

“What happened to your back?” he asked him as he lifted up his shirt to see blood oozing out of his back, a dark bruise starting to form around it. 

“I fell against a table,” Luke said in a small voice that was wrecked with pain. The medics arrived with a gurney, lifting Luke onto it. Ashton followed the medics as they rushed him to the nearest open room. They flipped him on his back, cleaning off the wound. The wood had torn through the skin of his back, leaving a large open wound on his back oozing out blood, on his shoulders were the earliest formations of bruises. They removed the unhealthy and torn tissue then stitched it up, covering the stitches up with a large bandage. 

“You’re free to go, just be extra careful with your back. I wouldn’t do any heavy lifting or sports for at least a week,” Ashton told him entering the hospital room. Luke sat up in the bed, looking to the floor. 

“I don’t wanna go home,” he said in a small scared voice. The hazel eyed boy sighed, walking over to him, taking a seat on the hospital bed. 

“Luke, who did this to you?” Ashton asked, his voice laced with concern. 

“I told you, it was an accident. I-I can’t go home,” he told him, his voice quivering. 

“Is there a friend or family member you could call?” Luke just shook his head. He couldn’t call Michael, he couldn’t lie to him. 

“Okay, you can stay at my place for the night. I get off my shift in 10 minutes. Wait in here. I’ll get you when I’m done,” Ashton offered in a soft, sweet voice. 

“Thank you,” he said in a small voice as he watched him leave the room. He laid in the uncomfortable bed thinking over the day’s events. His dad had beat him, again. It wasn’t a one time thing anymore. He wondered if this would become a usual occurance, if he would spend the rest of his life going to the hospital and afraid of his own father. He stood up from the bed changing out of the hospital gown into his black skinny jeans and The Killers shirt. He picked up his leather jacket, putting it on. Ashton came in with his jacket and car keys in hand. 

“I can have Nick take your car home when he gets off his shift, you shouldn’t be driving anyway,” Ashton said as he took Luke’s keys and put them on the desk before leaving. They headed out to the parking lot getting into Ashton’s beat up old green Jeep Patriot. Luke got in shotgun observing the interior of the car. He was used to brand new cars that costed the same cost of Ashton’s monthly rent. 

“Sorry about the mess,” he commented as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road. The car was filled with empty water bottles, CDs, and spare clothes. Luke had a nanny who cleaned out and washed his car once a month. 

“It’s fine,” he said as he looked at the CDs. There were albums from Nirvana, Panic at the Disco, Marianas Trench, All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, The Killers and many others. His selection was almost identical to Luke’s. 

“You got some good taste in music,” Luke muttered. Ashton smiled at the boy. 

“You do too, I’m surprised you listen to this stuff. Most people your age listen to shitty pop music.” He chuckled. 

“How old are you?” he asked suddenly, curious. 

“24,” Ashton told him. He had just completed his medical training program over the summer. 

“I know, I’m old. You’re probably like 16, right?” he said with a smile. 

“17.” They pulled into the apartment parking lot and found a spot. Luke trailed behind Ashton into the apartment complex and into the elevator then to their room. 

“It’s not much,” Ashton stated as he opened the door to his apartment. It was spacious for an apartment but nothing compared to Luke’s mansion. It had a kitchen that ran into a dining room, a TV room with a few couches and two bedrooms. Calum sat on the couch watching Jimmy Fallon. 

“Hey Ash, we’re out of milk and need more condoms,” he stated not noticing Luke’s presence making Ashton blush red. 

“Cal,” he called to his friend making him look over to see the blonde haired boy. 

“This is Luke, he’s going to be staying the night. Luke, this is Calum my roommate.” Their eyes scanned each other. Calum noticing how young the boy looked but he was nonetheless attractive. 

“Oh,” Calum said wiggling his eyebrows suggestively making Ashton roll his eyes. He took Luke to his room where he showed him the bathroom. He then went back to the living room. 

“So who is this kid? Please tell me you’re not fucking him,” Calum asked as he stood up looking at his friend. 

“No, he’s a patient. He needed a place to stay for the night, so I offered.” Luke came out of the bedroom, walking over to the two boys. 

“Did you have dinner, Luke?” Ashton asked as he headed over to the cupboard. The blonde shook  his head so he cooked them and Calum dinner then they watched TV together for a while. Ashton made himself a bed on the couch. 

“I’m going to bed,” Calum said with a yawn as he went off to his room. 

“You should probably get to bed as well. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch,” Ashton told Luke as he walked over to him, taking a seat beside him. 

“You don’t have to do that, we can just share the bed or I can take the couch,” the blonde stated. They made their way into his bedroom. He found some PJs for Luke to wear but they were too small since he was so much taller than Ashton so he ended up sleeping in just his boxers, Ashton doing the same. 

“Sorry about Calum, he can be a bit much,” he said as they lay side by side in bed. For the first time since meeting each other, Luke really took in Ashton’s appearance. His glowing hazel eyes, honey brown hair with soft curls at the ends, toned chest and muscular arms. He was hot, stunning. Ashton as well took in Luke’s appearance with his blonde hair that now laid flat on his head, blue crystal orbs, skinny torso and arms. He was beautiful, absolutely beautiful even with his bruised face and stitched up back. 

“It’s fine,” Luke said as his phone went off beside him. He looked to see it was his dad, he had 5 missed calls from him. 

“Do you need to call your dad to tell him you’re here?” he asked, his soft eyes peering into Luke’s scared blue orbs. 

“No.” Ashton could sense Luke’s tenseness. 

“You know you can tell me what happened, I won’t tell anyone or report it,” he told him as he let his hand touch Luke’s cheek, the blonde leaning into his hand. Luke thought about it. He hadn’t told a single person about his dad and he needed to get it off his chest. He felt like a closet full of secrets and just wanted to burst open. 

“Promise?” 

“Promise.”

“I came out to my dad that first night I was brought in. I had always knew I was gay and had told my best friend, Michael about it. He was pretty accepting about it. I had been hiding it from my dad for 17 years and I just couldn’t keep lying to him. So I told him.” Ashton remained silent, listening to Luke intently noticing how hard it seemed for him to tell him this, tears starting to gather in his eyes. 

“And he beat me claiming no son of his could be gay, that it was a sin. And I didn’t think much of it at the time, it was the first time he had ever laid a hand on me like that. I figured it was a one time thing. After beating me, he took me to the hospital where we met. But it wasn’t a one time thing. We avoided each other since that night until tonight. I made him a dinner, hoping to earn his forgiveness. But it didn’t turn out that way. He would rather beat me than have a rational conversation with me. He threw me against the kitchen table, breaking it in half. That’s why my back was bleeding. I was stupid to think he would accept me for who I am.”

“Every parent should accept their kid as who they are. I came out to my parents when I was only 15, they were very accepting. Some of my friends weren’t and I lost some of them due to it. But god, I can’t imagine what it’s like to have your parent turn against you. You shouldn’t have to live like this.” Ashton’s hazel eyes seemed sincere and despite all the craziness going on in his life, he felt safe lying there beside him. 


	4. Don't You Know the Kids Aren't Alright

_ “And in the end _

_ I'd do it all again. _

_ I think you're my best friend. _

_ Don't you know that the kids aren't al-, kids aren't alright? _

_ I'm yours. _

_ When it rains it pours. _

_ Stay thirsty like before. _

_ Don't you know that the kids aren't al-, kids aren't alright?” _

 

  * __Fall Out Boy (Kids Aren’t Alright)__



 

 

Ashton opened his eyes to see a blonde boy in his arms, snuggled within the crook of his neck. He seemed so peaceful, he couldn’t bare to wake the boy. He looked towards the clock seeing it was 11. He didn’t have work today so he continued to lie there, not making a move to remove his arms from Luke. The bruises on his face were starting to fade, there was still a fresh one over his eye making it appear black. Ashton hadn’t known him long but he already felt like he had to protect the boy, keep him safe. Luke seemed so innocent and pure and he wanted him to stay that way. He didn’t want him to know the burden of pain that came with this world. He felt Luke stir beside him, opening his soft ocean blue eyes. Confusion passed through them then he remembered the night before, relaxing into Ashton’s arms. 

“You sleep well?” he asked the boy. He nodded. His hair laid flat on his head making him look younger than he is. 

“You have to be anywhere?” Luke turned around in his hold so they were facing each other. 

“No, do you?” he asked in a small voice. He didn’t know why but for some reason he felt nervous when he was with Ashton, a funny feeling settled in his stomach every time they were together. 

“Wanna go out for breakfast then?” Ashton asked, noticing how small and cute Luke looked in the morning. 

“Yeah,” he said with a yawn as he sat up in the bed revealing his stitched up back. It looked a bit irritated probably from sleeping on it. 

“We should put some lotion on your back before we leave.” Ashton reached over to his bedstand looking through his different lotions, grabbing one. He put it on his hands then placed them on Luke’s back, rubbing the lotion around. For the first time in over a week, Luke felt safe. He relaxed into Ashton’s touch, letting out a big sigh. His hands molded into his skin making him feel refreshed and brand new. Luke felt at ease with himself and the world for once. Ashton noticed this, his hands now massaging the boy’s back, feeling his tension dissipate. He suddenly felt himself lowering himself to place a kiss on the boy’s back, at first he was surprised by his own actions but when he heard Luke moan he knew he enjoyed it. Ashton continued to kiss down the boy’s back, a tingling sensation going off in Luke’s stomach with each kiss. Abruptly, he pulled back remembering the reality of the situation, Luke was a lost 17 year old while Ashton was a grown 24 year old. 

“We-we should get going,” he said standing up and grabbing some clothes. He went in the bathroom to get changed. Once the door was shut, he wondered what had gotten into him. Luke was just a boy, Ashton was the adult he needed to act like one. A relationship would only complicate things for Luke, his dad would probably beat on him more and Ashton didn’t want that. So he decided no matter what his feelings for Luke were, he would not act on them. 

Ashton held the door open for Luke to the diner as they walked in, he gave him a small smile and they made their way to a booth in the back. 

“Are you feeling any better?” he asked the boy after they ordered their food. Luke nodded his head with a smile. 

“Thanks for letting me stay at your place last night.”

“No problem, I want you to know that you can come to me with anything. I know we haven’t known each other for long but I want to get to know you better, and be your friend,” Ashton told him as he reached across the table to take Luke’s hand into his. 

“They’d be nice. I’d like that.” 

Luke ended up spending most of the day with Ashton, losing track of time talking to his new found friend. He traded numbers with him and drove himself home despite wanting to stay. When he pulls into his driveway he notices both his dad’s and Michael’s cars. He enters his house seeing his dad and Michael looking worried and frantic. His dad’s eyes meet his, causing him to let out a sigh of relief. 

“Where have you been?” He asks him. Luke slips off his coat and shoes, walking into the kitchen where his dad and Michael are. He notices how the table is gone and the mess from the night before has been cleaned to look like nothing happened despite the stitches in Luke’s back and obvious bruises  covering his face. 

“I went to the hospital,” he tells them looking to his dad with anger. 

“Why?” Michael asks completely oblivious of the tension between Luke and his dad. The blonde raises an eyebrow at his dad wondering if he’ll say anything but doesn’t. 

“I fell on the table,” he says after moments of silence, realizing his dad isn’t going to say a thing. His friend looks beyond confused and worried. 

“H-how?” 

“It doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you’re all right,” his dad says eyeing his son. Luke nearly wants to laugh at the irony of his words. 

“Yeah, now if you’ll excuse me I have homework to do,” he tells them as he heads up the stairs, his back hurting with each step. He falls onto his bed, letting himself relax into his comfortable bed. There’s an aching pain in his back but he ignores it. His bedroom door opens to reveal Michael. He walks over to his bed and sits down on it. 

“Are you okay?” He asks. 

“Yeah.” He looks his friend in the eye, noticing the way his blue eyes won’t meet his green. His face is pale and beaten. He has bags under his eyes and overall he just looks tired and not just in the physical sense but mentally exhausted. 

“You don’t look okay.” Luke sighs staring up at his ceiling. 

“I just need some rest.” Michael nods but doesn’t believe a word of it. He makes a mental note of how this is the second time his friend has been to the hospital in the past week and wonders if there’s something else going on he isn’t telling him. 

“You know you can tell me stuff, right?” Luke nods. But he can’t tell Michael what’s going on and he won’t. 


	5. Sometimes I Wish Someone Out There Will Find Me

_ “My shadow's the only one that walks beside me _

_ My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating _

_ Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me _

_ 'Til then I walk alone” _

 

  * __Green Day (Boulevard of Broken Dreams)__



 

Once again, Luke walked on eggshells around his father only this time he had real fear installed inside him. Everytime he saw his dad he couldn’t help but be overcome with the sinking feeling. He had never been afraid of his father until now. He was his guardian, his caretaker, his dad, he wasn’t supposed to be afraid of him. But on the outside, he refused to show his fear, if he did that meant his dad would win and he couldn’t have that. 

Luke walks into his first hour on monday noticing everyone’s eyes on him. His bruises are fading so he’s not sure why they’re starring. Then again, it was a small town and people talk. Maybe rumors were going around about how Luke was getting beat up. He takes his seat next to Michael who gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“You study for the test today?” He asks the blonde. 

“Fuck, I totally forgot,” Luke mutters which is totally unlike him. He’s always gotten good grades and studied but he’s been so caught up lately with everything going on with his dad. 

“You have a A in the class, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” his friend tells him in a reassuring voice. The teacher enters the room and the talking stops. When the test is placed on his desk he can’t help but think of the weekend’s events. It had started out terrible but somehow Ashton turned it around for him. Luke really liked Ashton, he was different from the others. He felt like he could tell him anything despite only knowing him for a week. 

Ashton arrives home from work early that day. Calum is laying on the couch watching Netflix as usual. 

“How was work?” He asks his friend. Ashton grabs a soda and makes his way over to the couch. 

“Good.” 

“What time did the kid leave yesterday?” Calum asks, he had gone to visit a friend and wasn’t back until late on Sunday. 

“He’s not a kid, he’s 17 and his name is Luke,” he says almost defensively. The dark haired boy notices this in him, how protective he is over the boy but doesn’t mention it. 

“So when did Luke leave?” 

“Around 3ish.”

“Is he going to be coming around more often?” He asks wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Ashton runs a hand through his unruly long hair before taking a sip of his drink. 

“Maybe, we’re just friends.” 

“Do you want to be something more?” Calum questions. 

“No, we just met,” Ashton mutters obviously not wanting to talk about their relationship. 

“You think he’s cute though, right?” 

“Doesn’t matter. What do you want for dinner tonight?” He asks quickly changing the subject. Calum knows not to push it with his friend and drops it for now, asking if they can get pizza for dinner. 

Ashton kept on finding himself thinking of the blonde haired blue eyed boy. Luke reminded him of a younger version of himself to an extent but he had never gone through abuse like Luke has. He couldn’t help but to feel protective over him and want to prevent him from getting hurt again. 

Michael and Luke sit on Michael’s couch playing video games after school. It is silent between them, something that is rare but neither of them know what to talk about. Michael feels left out of Luke’s life but he won’t tell him anything. They’ve been playing for over an hour now and Michael can’t take it anymore. He sets down his control, pausing the game. Luke looks up at him knowing what he’s going to ask and wanting to just disappear into thin air so he won’t have to lie to his friend. 

“What’s really going on with you?” He asks. 

“What do you mean?” Luke plays dumb. 

“I’ve seen you beaten up twice this past week, you disappeared on saturday and now you’re forgetting about school work. I don’t mean to sound like a parent here but I’m worried about you.” Luke takes a deep breath, in his head telling Michael everything but in reality he says nothing. Not a single word. 

“Did you join a gang or are you getting bullied?” He asks causing Luke to laugh at the mere thought of him being in a gang. His friend looks aggravated. 

“Then what is it? Just tell me.” 

“Listen, it’s exactly what I said it was. I was jumped last week and then on friday when I was making dinner I accidentally slipped and fell onto the table. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Were you at the hospital all night saturday and most of sunday?” 

“No, I stayed with a friend.”

“Who? Does he go to our school?”

“No, he works at the hospital I went to. We hung out at the bar when we went out last week.”

“How old is he?”

“He’s in his early 20’s. He’s a nice guy and he really helped me out that night.”

“I could of helped you out,” Michael insists. He sighs and looks his friend in the eye. 

“I know and I’m sorry.” He nods and calms down. 

“So this friend, is he just a friend?” Luke nods his head and grabs the control pressing play on the game ending the talk. 

Ashton and Calum are just finishing up dinner when he gets a call from Luke. Calum eyes him when he sees his contact show up on his phone. Ashton excuses himself and goes to his room. 

“Hey Luke, how are you?” He asks. 

“I’m okay, you?”

“Good.” 

“Do you want to hang out tomorrow?” Luke asks him surprising Ashton. 

“Yeah, I get off work at 4.”

“Okay, I’ll come over then.”

“How are things with you and your dad?” Ashton dares to ask afraid of the answer. 

“They’re okay, he hasn’t said a word to me since sunday.” 

“Luke, if being at home ever gets to be too much and you need some place to go, you’re welcomed at my place.”

“Thanks for everything,” Luke tells him finding himself smiling for the first time in a week. 

* * *

Luke was surprised to find his dad home when he came in the door. He still hadn’t spoken to his dad since sunday. Now, his dad was setting up a new table in the kitchen. The blonde boy walked over to his dad. 

“How was school?” He asks as if there were no tension between them. 

“Good,” Luke tells him in a monotone voice, unsure what to say to the man who had beaten him the last time he spoke to him. 

“Listen Luke, I shouldn’t of beat you. I’m sorry. I just don’t know how to respond to you being gay,” he apologizes. 

“How about you accept that this is who I am,” Luke says as if it’s simple but to his dad it is anything but. He’s his only son and him being gay meant no grandkids, a bad reputation and he considered it a sin. 

“I can’t do that,” he whispers to his son. Luke’s heart breaks with that sentence. 

“Well, you’re going to have to,” the boy tells him as he heads upstairs. 

Ashton looks up from the TV when he hears a knock on his apartment door later that night. He gets up and walks over to the door, opening it to find the blonde haired boy with sparkling blue eyes. Those eyes are brimmed with tears. 

“Luke, what’s w-,” but Ashton isn’t given the time to finish his sentence when Luke embraces him in a tight hug. The boy comes apart in his arms, sobbing into his shoulder. He just wraps his arms around the boy as his heart breaks for him wanting to take away his pain. But he can’t take away his pain, no one can. 

“He’s never going to accept me,” he cries causing Ashton to pull back and force Luke’s sad blue eyes to meet his. 

“You don’t know that, no one knows what the future holds and if he doesn’t accept you then fuck him, you don’t need to be around people who don’t accept you for who you are.” Luke gets lost in Ashton’s hazel eyes as he wipes away his tears. Calum watches from the just outside his bedroom door, noticing the way Ashton looks at Luke, it’s the same way he looked at Finn before he broke him. 


	6. Here's Exactly What You'll Need to Make it Through

_ “You're one of us, here's exactly what you'll need to make it through _

_ Good times and hard times _

_ We're here to fight for you _

_ March along _

_ Don't forget to tell the ones you love they matter _

_ When you break the bend _

_ Fall off again _

_ You'll find your love where it's always been” _

 

  * __Mayday Parade (One of Us)__



 

Ashton once again wakes up with Luke in his arms. He looks at the sleeping boy, not wanting to wake him but having to as Luke has school and he has work. He gently shakes him awake, his blue eyes slowly open staring up into Ashton’s hazel ones. He seems to relax then to look at the clock and sit up. 

“I’m late for school,” he says in a frantic voice. He’s never been late to school. He stands up looking for his jeans and shirt. Ashton sits up, walking over to him, handing him his shirt. Luke throws his clothes on in a rush. 

“Luke, let me drive you. I have to get to work anyway.” He nods and waits for Ashton to get ready. 

Ashton pulls up to Luke’s high school. It’s been a long time since he’s been to the high school, memories of when went there run through his mind. He hated high school, he was bullied for being gay and only had one friend, Calum. He hopes Luke’s school years aren’t as bad as his then again, Luke was the one who came to him sobbing last night. He just wants to make the boy feel better. 

“I’ll see you after school,” Ashton says to him as Luke opens the car door, he turns to face him before heading into the school. 

“Thanks Ash for everything. It really means a lot,” he tells him before running off. Ashton is left with a smile on his face as he drives to work. 

Luke enters the school heading to the office to get a pass. He’s never had to do this before, he’s never been late, the only time he’s missed school is when he’s sick or has a doctor appointment. He gets his pass and heads to class. When he gets there everyone stares at him surprised. Michael gives him that concerned look he’s been giving him a lot lately. He hands his pass to the teacher and takes his seat. 

“Where were you?” his friend whispers to him. 

“I slept at Ashton’s last night,” he tells him making Michael confused. 

“I thought he was just your doctor?”

“He’s my friend.”

“Can I meet him?” Luke contemplates but knows he’s going to have to meet him sooner or later. 

“Sure, we’re hanging out after school today if you want to come.”

Ashton arrives at work and is called over by the nurses right away. 

“Sarah’s here again, she’s got a sprained wrist.” Ashton nods and heads over to a room where a ten year old brunette girl sits. Her hair is in brides and she wears jeans with a shirt from Justice. 

“Hey sweetie, what happened to your wrist?” he asks her as he examines it. There are bruises all over her body but Ashton already knew that. She’s been here countless times before. Her blue eyes that remind him of Luke’s meet his. 

“Daddy and I got in a fight,” she tells him as he grabs some gauze to wrap her wrist. 

“What about?” he asks as he begins to wrap her wrist. 

“I don’t know, I was getting ready for school and he just got mad at me. Mommy said he had been drinking the night before.” Ashton’s heart breaks with every word. It’s always the same story everytime she comes in here, her dad got drunk and beat her and her mom brought her to the hospital. He’s tried talking to her mom about it but she refuses to admit it’s a problem. And when he reported it the second time it happened, her dad just made up an excuse. He finished wrapping up her wrist. 

“Your wrist should heal within a few weeks just try not to use it,” he tells her. 

“Okay, thanks Dr. Irwin.” Her mom comes in and takes her daughter. Ashton sits down on the patient table, sighing. He feels hopeless, he can’t stop Sarah’s dad from hurting her, the same way he can’t stop Luke’s dad from hurting him. All he can do is be there for them. But he didn’t feel that was enough. He hated that they could get away with hurting their kids. Sarah and Luke didn’t deserve a parent like that, nobody does. 

Michael hops into Luke’s car. 

“So how old is Ashton?” he asks as Luke turns on his car. 

“24.” Michael glances over at his friend. 

“And you two are just friends?”

“Just friends,” Luke tells him without hesitation though, he did think Ashton was attractive and when he had kissed Luke’s back he felt as though he was in heaven. He wouldn’t mind being more than friends with him, even though they had just met over a week ago, it felt as if they were old friends. They just clicked, he made him feel something he hadn’t felt since his mom died, safe and at home. They pull up to Ashton’s apartment and get out of the car. Luke knocks on the door which Ashton answers within a few seconds. 

“Hey Luke,” he says with a smile. Luke smiles back then looks to Michael who is scanning Ashton skeptically. 

“Ashton, this is my friend Michael,” he introduces him. Ashton smiles at him as he shakes his hand. They enter the apartment to see Calum on the couch as always. They make their way over to him and Calum introduces himself to Michael. 

“I figured we’d go bowling,” Ashton tells them.

“Sounds good,” Luke says with a smile. They get into Ashton’s car and drive to the bowling alley. Things go smoothly at the bowling alley. Michael gets along well with Ashton and Calum. They all manage to have a good time, even though they suck at bowling. When they’re done they get a pizza there, Michael and Calum go to the bathroom. 

“You haven’t told Michael about your dad, have you?” Ashton asks once they’re out of sight. 

“No, I don’t want him reporting my dad or treat me differently,” he tells him. 

“Why’d you tell me?” he wonders. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just trust you,” Luke says. Ashton smiles at that. 

“I trust you too, Luke. I won’t say anything to Michael.”

“Thanks.”

“You don’t need to thank me, I’m your friend,” he tells him looking into his crystal clear blue eyes. 

“I know, you’ve just helped me out a lot in the past week.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long since i've updated, i've been crazy busy with school and equestrian team. I am going out of town next week so I figured I would update before I leave, I'm not sure when I will post next, hopefully soon. Please comment your thoughts on the chapter and leave kudos if you liked it.


	7. Back Away to the Safety of a Quiet House

_ “Respectfully, so honestly I'm calling out _

_ Do you hear the conversation we talk about? _

_ Back away to the safety of a quiet house _

_ If there's half a chance in this moment _

_ When your eyes meet mine, we show it off.” _

 

  * __Jimmy Eat World (Dizzy)__



 

Luke sat on the couch watching the Presidential Debate when he heard his dad come in the door. He hadn’t seen his dad much all week. He’s been avoiding him, which seems to be their new usual. 

“Hey dad,” he greets him only for his dad not to respond. The blonde boy sighs as he turns off the TV and goes into the front hall where his dad is taking off his shoes. 

“Are you still mad at me?” Luke asks him in a hopeful but weak voice. His dad looks up at him as he unties his shoes. 

“Are you still gay?” he asks making his son roll his eyes. 

“Yes, this is who I am. I can’t just magically become straight,” he tries to explain. His dad stands up and walks over to him making Luke cower over in fear without even realizing it. 

“Then at least try to be who you used to be.” The blonde laughs bitterly as he looks at his dad. 

“This is who I’ve always been. And trust me dad, I have tried to change this but you can’t pray the gay away. This is who I am. I’ve finally accepted it, so why can’t you do the same?”

“No, I just can’t Luke.” Tears began to pour down the blonde’s face as his dad gets that angry look in his eyes. 

“Stop crying, you faggot! You brought this on yourself!” And like that, like the flip of a switch his dad is gone and is this unrecognizable anger filled monster. He pushes his son to the ground and punches his face repeatedly, sure to leave him with a black eye and broken nose. He gets up and Luke sighs in relief thinking he’s done when his dad grabs a bat. He tenses up in fear, trying to squirm away from his dad while telling himself this is all some bad dream, that his dad would never hurt him. Luke manages to flip on his back and cover his head before his dad swings the bat at his back repeatedly. He can feel the stitches from the week prior coming apart and screams in pain causing his dad to yell at him then hit him on the back of the head with the bat making everything go black. 

When Luke wakes up half an hour later the house is empty and silent. He reaches into his jean pocket for his cell phone. He then dials Ashton’s number who picks up right away. 

“Luke, what’s up?” he asks. The blonde boy gathers enough strength to speak which is hard with his head pounding, nose bleeding and back aching. 

“Ash, I need you to pick me up. I-I’m hurt.” Ashton’s smile falls as his heart breaks at those words. 

“I’ll be right there, tell me what happened while I drive.” 

Ashton arrives at Luke’s house no more than 10 minutes later. He runs inside to see Luke lying on the floor, his phone to his ear. The back of his shirt is covered in blood and his face is covered in bruises, old and new. He picks him up bridal style and carries him to the backseat of his Jeep where he lies him down. He hops in the front seat and drives to the hospital. 

“Ashton, I thought you had the day off?” Claire, one of the nurses says to Ashton as he enters the hospital with a fragile blonde boy in his arms. Luke’s arms are around Ashton’s neck, hiding his head in his neck. He feels numb like he is watching himself from outside his body. He hears people talking and mentioning his name but can’t register what’s being said until he’s placed on a gurney, leaving the warmth of Ashton’s arms. He glances up into his hazel eyes and weakly mumbles, “don’t leave me, Ash.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ashton tells him as he places his hand on Luke’s cold one. With that, they take him into the operation room. Luke starts to feel dizzy and blacks out again. 

His eyes open to see Ashton slumped in his chair, having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He smiles when seeing Luke’s blue eyes open. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” he asks him as he rubs his eyes. 

“Like shit,” Luke tells him as he sits up in the uncomfortable but familiar hospital bed. Ashton chuckles as he sits up as well. 

“Well, your stitches were ripped out a few weeks early, you have a broken nose, a minor concussion, and a broken rib,” he explains to him causing Luke to look at his bandaged abdomen. He then looks to Ashton and breaks out in uncontrollable sobs. Ashton stands up from his chair and joins him on the bed, pulling him into his arms, letting him sob into his Nirvana concert tee. 

“How did we get here, Ash?” he asks him as he continues to cry into his shoulder. Ashton’s heart breaks when he sees how broken the boy in front of him is. He just wants to make him feel better, take away his pain even if it’s just for a little bit. He doesn’t know what comes over him, maybe it’s him wanting to make Luke feel better or maybe it’s the fact he has a tiny little crush on Luke but before he knows what he’s doing his lips are on Luke’s who is shocked at first but then kisses back, grabbing onto Ashton’s curls. Ashton pulls back suddenly with regret, thinking he’s ruined it. 

“Oh my god, Luke. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean to take advantage of you. I..” the blonde cuts him off before he can continue by connecting their lips once again this time with more passion. Ashton kisses back, afraid the moment will end. He loves kissing Luke, his lips taste like sugar to him. He would kiss him all day if he could. When they pull back, the blonde haired boy smiles at him. 

“You didn’t take advantage of me, Ash. I like you, a lot I just never thought you felt the same way.” Ashton smiles at the boy. 

“I like you too.” Hazel eyes stare into blue, smiles bouncing off each other, happiness filling the air. 

“What does this make us then?” he wonders. 

“Whatever you want us to be.”

“Okay, boyfriend,” Luke says grinning wide as he kisses Ashton once again, feeling the happiest he’s felt in weeks. And he is given hope once again, that maybe this world isn’t so bad after all. 

Once Luke is released from the hospital they go out to Ashton’s car. Ashton opens his passenger door for him making the blonde blush red. 

“Can I stay at your place tonight?” Luke asks nervously. 

“Of course, I’m not letting you out of my sight for the whole weekend. Now let’s go out for dinner. It can be our first date.” He smiled at that and they drove to a nearby restaurant. They get a table and sit down looking over the menus. 

“Let’s play a game,” Ashton says with a smirk causing him to roll his eyes and ask, “what?” 

“20 questions, now that we’re dating we should really get to know each other and I know I have questions for you as I am sure you do for me,” he explains as the blonde nods. A waitress comes to the table and they order their food. Once she’s gone, Ashton asks his first question. 

“I’ll start easy, what’s your favorite animal?”

“Penguin, when I was little my parents took me to the zoo and ever since I’ve been in love with them.”

“Where’s your mom now?” Ashton can’t help but ask causing Luke to tense. 

“I believe it’s my turn, why did you decide to become a doctor?” 

“Easy, I’ve always loved helping people since I was young and what better way to help people than being a doctor?” Luke nods at this. 

“Now, how come I’ve only seen your dad and not your mom?” he asks. Luke’s blue eyes cast down to the table but he answers. 

“She’s died of cancer a few years ago, it’s been just my dad and I ever since.” 

“I’m so sorry, Luke.”

“It’s fine, how’s your relationship with your parents?”

“It’s pretty good. I don’t see them a lot though, they moved to New Zealand when I graduated from high school. We take turns visiting each other on holidays but that’s the only time I see them. I miss them.” 

“How did you and Michael meet?”

“We met on the first day of preschool, he stole a m&m from me and we’ve been best friends ever since. He’s always been there for me, he was the first person I came out to. And he was really accepting about it and helped me accept myself. What about you and Calum?” 

“We were neighbors growing up, when we went off to college we decided to share an apartment together instead of living in the tiny dorms. He’s like a brother to me. Why haven’t you told Michael about your dad?”

“I don’t know to be honest, I guess because I know he’ll report him and as much as I hate my dad right now, he’s the only family I’ve got left. I can’t have him taken away from me too. When was your last relationship?” For once, Ashton was the one to tense up as he took a sip of his water. 

“A little over a year ago. His name was Finn, we met in college and dated for years. I um, I really loved him, we were even engaged at one point.”

“What happened?” Luke asks with curious blue eyes. 

“It’s not your turn yet. When did you know you were gay?”

“I was 13 and we were playing spin the bottle at a birthday party. It landed on this guy, Nate when it was my turn and when we kissed, I just knew. I denied for the longest time though, tried kissing girls but it didn’t feel the same. When I was 15 I had my first boyfriend and I was in the closet but I knew I was gay. Now what happened with Finn?”

“He died in a car crash, he was on his way to meet me at work when he was hit head on by a drunk driver. I remember them bringing him in on the stretcher and he was covered in so much blood I couldn’t recognize him but it was him.” Tears gather in Ashton’s eyes as he tells Luke this, he gives him a sympathetic look. 

“Have you ever been in love?” Ashton asks Luke. 

“No, I’ve dated a few guys but it was never serious. Do you still love him?”

“In a way, yes. I think I always will love him. We dated for so long and were going to spend the rest of our lives together. But he would want me to move on and I want to too, with you.” The waiter shows up with their food. The rest of the dinner goes perfectly. Luke feels at ease with himself and the world when he’s with Ashton. He feels safe which is something he hasn’t been able to feel lately. 


	8. You're the Closest to Heaven That I'll Ever Be

_ “And I'd give up forever to touch you _

_ 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow _

_ You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be _

_ And I don't wanna go home right now _

 

_ And all I can taste is this moment _

_ And all I can breathe is your life _

_ When sooner or later it's over _

_ I just don't wanna miss you tonight” _

 

  * __Iris by Goo Goo Dolls__



 

 

After dinner they drive back to Ashton’s apartment. They walk into the apartment holding hands, Calum is in the kitchen making himself some food when they walk in. He nearly drops his food when he sees their hands. Calum and Ashton stare at each other awkwardly. Luke can feel the tension. He reluctantly lets go of his hand. 

“I’m going to go to the bathroom,” he tells him before he kisses his cheek and leaves the room. Calum raises an eyebrow at his best friend once they’re alone. 

“I thought you two were just friends,” he says trying not to sound judgemental. 

“We are or we were but then something happened tonight and we kissed. We’re dating. I really like him Cal, he makes me happy,” Ashton tells his friend. 

“Ash, you know I just want you to be happy, right? So if he makes you happy then I’m happy for you. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like this, I just worry about you sometimes.” Ashton nods as he steps closer to Calum. 

“I know, Cal. I know,” he says before he pulls him into a hug. They pull back as Luke reenters the room. 

“You guys want to watch a movie or something?” Ashton asks them. They both nod and go over to the couch. They end up watching Shawshank Redemption and Calum falls asleep halfway through the movie. Luke lays with his head on Ashton’s shoulder. He looks to the clock seeing it’s almost midnight. 

“Why don’t we go to bed?” Ashton whispers to Luke who nods and heads to the bedroom. Ashton turns the TV off and covers Calum up with a blanket then heads to his bedroom where Luke is laying on his bed. Ashton lays down on the bed with him, they lay in silence for a bit each sneaking glances at the other. Luke stares at the beautiful boy beside him, his toned chest and hazel eyes that shine in the dark and big lips that he just wants to kiss. 

“Fuck it,” he whispers as he rolls on top of Ashton and connects their lips. Ashton kisses back letting Luke’s tongue explore his mouth as he moans into the kiss. Luke’s hands thread through Ashton’s curly hair as he grinds down on him, making the older boy go hard. He moans into Luke’s mouth as he continues to kiss him. Luke pulls back and they both look at each other with lust in their eyes. 

“Wow,” Ashton mutters. 

“Yeah,” the blonde says as he catches his breath and stares down at the hazel eyed boy. 

“As amazing as that was, I want to wait until we’re a little further into our relationship to have sex, you know?” 

“Yeah, I know. But we can still do this,” Luke says with a smirk as he goes back to kissing Ashton, grinding down on him making him let out a loud moan. 

“Fuck, Luke,” he moans out as he grinds down directly on Ashton’s dick. He then pulls away and looks at the older boy innocently. 

“What?” the blonde smiles, his big blue eyes locking with Ashton’s whose hard on is very apparent. 

“You little devil,” Ashton chuckles as he sits up with Luke still on top of him and kisses him passionately. He then moves the boy off his lap. 

“I’m going to go take care of this,” he tells him. 

“Or I could just take of it for you,” Luke says seductively. Despite how much Ashton wants him to he shakes his head. He wants to be in love when they have sex and he knows at this rate it won’t take long before he’s saying those three little words to the blonde boy. 

“Not yet, babe.” He then disappears into the bathroom. Luke sighs as he falls back into the bed with a smile on his face. His phone vibrates showing he has 2 missed calls and 5 texts. He picks up his phone seeing the calls are from his dad. 3 of the texts are from his dad while the others are from Michael. All the texts from his dad say the same thing, asking where he is. Luke sighs as he texts his dad that he’s spending the night at a friend’s. He then open Michael’s texts which ask him where is he as well, his dad must of called him. Here’s the thing Luke doesn’t get, not too long ago his dad was beating him with a bat and now he’s texting him asking where he is, acting like he cares. And maybe he does care, he just has a messed up way of showing it. And Luke still cares for him too, and that’s what hurts the most, still caring for his dad despite everything he’s done. But he’s his dad, no matter what he could never hate his dad, and a dad could never hate his son no matter he did, at least that’s what Luke would like to think. He sends a text to Michael that he’s at Ashton’s and is fine. 

“You okay?” Ashton’s raspy voice asks as he reenters the room. The blonde boy looks up with tears in his eyes that he didn’t realize had formed. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks in a soft voice as he joins Luke on the bed. 

“Nothing, it’s just my dad,” Luke tells him as Ashton lays beside him and lets the blonde lay his head on his shoulder. 

“I know, babe.” Silence fills the air but it’s not awkward. Luke closes his eyes and falls asleep safe in his boyfriend’s arms. 

Michael sits with his parents and Luke’s dad at their kitchen table. 

“Luke’s been sneaking away a lot lately, I’m worried. Have you noticed anything different about him?” Luke’s dad asks him as he sips on his coffee that his mom made. Michael looks to him, he looks different, something’s changed in him but he can’t place his finger on what. He sighs as his phone vibrates. He grabs it seeing it’s a text from Luke. 

“No, not really other than the new friend he’s made but Ashton seems really nice. I was got a text from Luke saying he’s with him now,” he tells him unaware of what he has just done. 

“Whose Ashton?” Luke’s dad asks confused. 

“Luke’s new friend, he met him at the hospital. He didn’t tell you about him?” The two look at each other confused, each both realizing something at the same time. Michael curses silently to himself as his gaze meets Luke’s dad. 

“Can I talk to Michael alone for a second?” His parents nod and leave the room. Luke’s dad, Matthew looks Michael dead in the eye. 

“Did you by chance know that my son is gay?” he utters the words in a disgusted hushed voice. Michael’s green eyes go wide as he stares at him, he thought Luke didn’t tell his dad. 

“Y-Yeah, when did Luke tell you?” he asks curious wondering if his friend lied to him. 

“A few weeks ago, doesn’t matter though. Ashton isn’t his boyfriend is he?” Michael shakes his head unaware Luke and Ashton are cuddling in Ashton’s apartment. 

“Okay, good. You’re a good kid, Michael, try to keep Luke away from this gay stuff, it isn’t him.”

“What do you mean?” he asks taken aback by his words. 

“I mean this isn’t who Luke is, he’s not a sinner. He’s just experimenting,” he says in a harsh, bitter voice that sends shivers up Michael’s spine. And now he’s questioning everything, all that Luke told him, what was true and what wasn’t. 

“With all do respect Mr. Hemmings, this is who Luke is and it’s taken him a long time to accept that. You should too,” he says before he gets up and leaves the room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a month since I last updated, I've had writers block and have been super busy with college apps. Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US. Please leave comments:)


	9. I Will Carry You Through it All

_ “I am with you _

_ I will carry you through it all _

_ I won't leave you I will catch you _

_ When you feel like letting go _

_ Cause you’re not, you’re not alone” _

 

  * __Red (Not Alone)__



 

Michael runs past his parents in the kitchen and out to his mom’s car. His parents will forgive him later he figures as he drives off, he just needs to see his best friend. He pulls into the small parking lot and parks his mom’s Chevy. He runs up the stairs trying to think of the apartment number, it comes into his head and he goes to the room. He knocks on the door, his hands shaking. A sleepy Calum answers the door with a blanket wrapped around him. 

“What are you doing here this early?” he asks him as he rubs his eyes. 

“Is Luke here?” Michael asks with urgentency. 

“Yeah, he’s sleeping though, I can go wake him if you want,” Calum steps aside to let him in. He looks around the apartment noticing how small it is. Luke’s small frame then appears in boxers and a shirt that is probably Ashton’s. He has new bruises covering his face that weren’t there the last time he saw him. Michael then notices the bruises on Luke’s arms, he takes a step closer to him and lifts up his shirt, his friend just stares at him confused. Ashton and Calum watch from the background as Michael lifts up his shirt to reveal his bandaged back. With shaking hands he peels off the bandage, gasping when seeing the deep purple bruising and open wound. 

“Did they do this to you?” Michael asks his friend, tears threatening to escape his eyes as he points at Calum and Ashton. 

“No, of course not. Why would you even think that?” 

“Then who did this to you, Luke?” The blonde looks over to Ashton who nods his head as if to say he should tell him. He sighs and looks his best friend in the eyes. 

“My dad, my dad did this to me.” Michael’s eyes meets Luke’s seeing he’s telling the truth. 

“W-why didn’t you tell me?” he asks. 

“I didn’t want my dad to get taken away from me,” Luke says in a small quivering voice. Michael pulls his friend into a hug. 

Ashton fixes up the four boys breakfast while Luke and Michael talk. He makes bacon and eggs. He brings the food over to them, sitting in a chair by Luke holding his hand under the table. 

“So what are we going to do?” Michael asks. The blonde looks to Ashton then to Michael. 

“I don’t know, maybe stay here for a few days until things settle down then I’ll go back home,” he says looking to his boyfriend. 

“Or you could stay at my place,” Michael suggests. 

“My dad would figure it out, my dad won’t find me here.”

“About that, I may have told your dad about Ashton…”

“You what?”

“I thought you had already told him but he doesn’t know where Ashton lives so you should be safe here for now.” Ashton nods then turns to Luke.

“I’m not letting you go back there, I’m not letting him hurt you again,” he says looking in Luke’s blue eyes. Michael notices the way they look at each other and hold hands. 

“Ash, I’ll be fine.”

“No, you won’t. You have a bruised rib and a minor concussion that could turn into brain damage if you hit your head again. You’re staying here and I’m going to take care of you.” 

“What about my dad? He’s going to look for me.”

“We’ll figure that out later, all that matters is that you’re safe.” Michael looks back and forth between the two of them. 

“Are you two together?” he asks looking to his friend. Luke nods with a smile appearing on his face, he hasn’t seen him smile in weeks. 

“I’m happy for you two. I should probably get going, I took my mom’s car and she isn’t going to be happy when I get back,” Michael says as he stands up. 

“Thanks for coming by Mikey, can you possibly get me some clothes from my house?” Luke asks. 

“Yeah, I’ll stop by with them later. I’ll see you then, keep him safe, Ash,” he tells them as he heads for the door and leaves the apartment. Luke lets out a huge sigh once he’s gone. It’s a sigh of relief for not having to keep lying to Michael, to finally putting the truth out there, to finally admitting that this abuse isn’t going to stop anytime soon. 

“You okay?” Ashton asks him. 

“Yeah.” Luke leans across the table and kisses his boyfriend. Ashton kisses back, closing his eyes as the blonde’s fingers go to his curly hair and he adds tongue. A cough is heard tearing them apart. 

“I’m right here,” Calum reminds them looking scarred. Ashton and Luke pull away looking to the black haired boy. 

“Are you going anywhere today, Calum?” Ashton asks his friend as he takes a sip of his coffee. 

“No, was planning on spending the day with you two lovebirds,” he says with a smile. 

“Okay, what do you want to do today, Luke? I’m off today but work tomorrow.” Luke looks to his boyfriend then to Calum thinking of something fun they could do. 

“We could go to the beach, it is really nice out,” he suggests. 

“You shouldn’t be swimming with that bruise,” Ashton says in a protective voice. 

“Ash, you don’t need to protect me every second, you’re not my dad.” The three boys all look to one another realizing what Luke just said given the circumstances. 

“Damn right, I’m not. I would never hurt you, Luke,” Ashton nearly yells. An awkward silence fills the air. Calum feels the need to fill that void. 

“Ash, could always be a different kind of daddy if you know what I mean,” he says with a smirk causing the boys to chuckle. 

“Alright, let’s go to the beach,” Ashton says as he stands up. 

Ashton, Luke, and Calum get their stuff together then pile into Ashton’s Jeep to go to the beach. 

“How come Luke gets shotgun? I’ve known you since birth,” Calum complains from the back seat as Luke sits shotgun holding hands with Ashton as he drives them. 

“Cause Luke’s my boyfriend,” he mutters as he turns into a parking spot. They hop out and walk in the sand. The beach isn’t horribly crowded for it being the weekend, it quite empty in fact which Luke is thankful for. He doesn’t want people from school seeing him here, not because he’s with Ashton but cause they’ll see his bruises. They lay out their towels and take out their shirts. Calum runs into the water right away while they stay back. Ashton steps close to Luke, standing close to him placing his hand on the boy’s hip. 

“You okay?” Ashton asks his boyfriend, his eyes filled with worry. A small smile make its way into Luke’s lips. 

“I am now that I’m with you,” he says before he closes the space between them and kisses him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know your thoughts on this chapter. also check out my new lashton story, Revenge.


	10. The Remain of My Wasted Youth

_ “When it all comes down _

_ To a sunrise on the East Side, _

_ Will you be there to carry home _

_ The remains of my wasted youth? _

_ This wasted time on you _

_ Has left me shaking in waiting, _

_ Shaking in waiting for something more” _

  * All Time Low (Coffee Shop Soundtrack)



“Are you sure you’re going to be okay?” Ashton asked Luke as they pulled up to the high school. It was monday and Luke insisted on going to school. It was the first time the whole weekend Ashton would be letting him out of his sight for more than a few minutes. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I get out.” Luke kisses his boyfriend on the cheek then hops out of Ashton’s Jeep. The blonde enters the school, feeling his heart speed up just a tiny bit in his chest. He walks to his locker but is overwhelmed with all the noises around him, the shutting of lockers, talking of students. He flinches every time a locker is shut, each time versioning his dad hitting him. 

“Luke, you okay?” a voice asks startling Luke, it’s Michael. He shuts his locker making him jump. His friend gives him a worried expression. 

“Yeah,” he stutters out as memories of his father beating him keep playing in his mind. 

“You don’t look okay,” Michael observes, his friend is sweating and jumping at every sound being made. 

“I-I’m fine.” He shuts his locker and begins to head to class when he hears a loud thud making him scream and drop to the floor in fetal position. The thud was just the sound of someone dropping their books but all Luke heard was the sound of his dad hitting him with a bat. All the students look to the blonde that’s lying in the middle of the hallway having a full blown panic attack. Michael drops to the floor beside Luke. He looks into his blue eyes noticing how scared they look. 

“Luke, what’s going on?” he asks. 

“I-I can’t stop seeing it.”

“Seeing what?” Michael asks confused. 

“My dad.” The late bell rings and all the students except Michael and Luke clear the halls. 

“C’mon, let’s get you out of here,” Michael says as he stands up offering Luke his hand. The blonde takes it, his hands are shaking. 

“Luke, you’re okay. You’re dad isn’t here.” He just shakes his head, his hands shaking, lips quivering, face sweating. 

“I-I need Ashton,” he says in a small fragile voice that breaks Michael on the inside because he can’t comfort him the way Ashton can. He nods nevertheless and takes him outside where he calls Ashton on Luke’s phone. 

“Luke? Is everything okay?” Ashton answers on the first ring. 

“It’s Michael, is there anyway you could get here? Luke started freaking out and he needs you.”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” They hang up and Michael looks to his friend who sits on the ground trying to steady his breathing but every time he breathes he sees his father. 

“Ashton’s on his way.” It hurts Michael to watch his friend suffer and not be able to do anything to help. He feels helpless. Ashton arrives a few minutes later, he pulls up to the school running out of his car. 

“Luke, what happened?” he asks as he runs to the blonde, joining him on the ground. Luke engulfs him in a hug. 

“Everytime I breathe I see my dad,” he says. Ashton just hugs him tighter knowing this is a case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder which isn’t surprising considering all Luke’s been through in the past month. 

“Okay Luke, take my hand and take deep breaths with me. Only this time with each breath think of something that makes you happy.” The blonde does as told taking Ashton’s hand. He takes a deep breath and thinks of the one thing that makes him happy; Ashton. 

Ashton drives away from the high school with Luke sitting beside him. His breathing has returned to normal and his panic attack has subsided. He looks over to the blonde. 

“I have to work at 1pm, do you want to come to work with me?” he asks, not wanting to leave Luke alone. 

“Yeah, I’d like that,” the blonde says with a small smile. They drive back to Ashton’s apartment where they lay down, Luke lying his head on Ashton’s shoulder and watch movies until it nears time for them to leave. 

Ashton walks into work holding hands with Luke. His coworkers and patients look at him, some in shock, others in admiration, and a few in fear. He walks over to the secretary desk where Claire sits. She smiles at them looking to Luke. 

“Who is this cutie?” she asks with a smile. For some reason the blonde feels nervous, all Ashton’s co workers are older and more educated than him. 

“This is my boyfriend, Luke,” he tells her with a vibrant smile. 

“How is Sarah?” he then asks. Claire frowns looking to the two boys. 

“She’s not doing too well, she was asking where you were. She’s still here, you should check on her.” Ashton nods and takes Luke to a small hospital room. 

“Who's Sarah?” Luke asks as they approach the door to the room. 

“She’s a patient of mine.” They enter the room to see Sarah’s small frame on the hospital bed. Her arm is in a cast, and has bruises covering her body very similar to Luke’s. 

“Hey, Ashy,” she says to him with a smile. He smiles back walking over to her, letting his hand run through her hair. He notices new wounds on her, but they aren’t bruises, they’re burn marks. He gently touches them, careful not to hurt her. 

“How’d you get these?” he asks his eyes looking at the marks wondering what parent would do this to their child. 

“Daddy hit me with a burning pan,” she tells him making Luke turn his attention to her. He moves closer, recognizing the bruises on her, they’re like his. 

“Who’s this?” she asks still smiling despite the painful burn parks on her arm. 

“I’m Luke, Ashton’s friend,” the blonde tell her stepping up to her bed, beside Ashton. She studies him, noticing their marks are the same. 

“How’d you get those?” she asks. Luke crouches down so he’s eye level with her and look her in the eye. 

“The same way you got yours, my dad.” Ashton is called out as a older couple is rushed in with wounds from a car crash. Luke follows Ashton watching as he jumps into action, running alongside the gurneys the patients are on, examining their injuries. And Luke just stares at his boyfriend in admiration. Seeing Ashton do everything he could for the patients made him realise Ashton was not only his hero but a hero in general. He saved lots of people’s lives and Luke just so happened to be one of them. 

Luke lays in Ashton’s bed unable to sleep, he watches his boyfriend who looks to be sleeping. He reaches out and touches his curls with his pale fingers making Ashton stir and wake up. 

“You’re a light sleeper,” Luke claims. His hazel eyes open and peer into Luke’s blue. 

“And you don’t sleep,” Ashton says back, a small smile forming on his lips. 

“I can’t,” he states as he lets Ashton comb through his hair with his hand as he leans into his touch. 

“Why’s that?” Luke just shrugs as he closes the space between them and places a gentle kiss to Ashton’s lips. They pull back and Luke smiles at him. 

“You earlier today when you asked me to think of that something that calms me down during my panic attack?” he asks to which ashton nods, intertwining their fingers. 

“I thought of you.” Ashton smiles and leans forward to kiss Luke again. This time the kiss lasts longer and soon turns heated, their tongues fighting for dominance, Luke grinding his hips down on Ashton making him moan loudly as his hard on becomes apparent. The blonde pulls back smiling then looks down the Ashton’s obvious hard dick. He places kisses down his chest, eventually reaching the waistband of his boxers. With each kiss Ashton feels himself falling harder and harder for Luke both physically and mentally. 

“Lu-Luke, you don’t have to if you’re not ready. I can take care of it myself,” he says not wanting to pressure the boy to which he just shakes his hand. 

“No, I want to do this. Want to make you feel good.” With that Luke slips off Ashton’s boxers, exposing his hard member. His blue eyes meets Ashton’s hazel as if asking for permission to which he nods and then he wraps his hands around his member. Ashton’s hip thrust up, needing friction, making Luke chuckle. 

“Needy now, are we?” he says with a smirk as he quickens his pace. Ashton just lets out a loud moan in response and Luke loves the sound. It’s like music to his eyes. And he would listen to it on repeat if he could. He removes his hand making Ashton groan in need of contact. Luke soon replaces his hand with his mouth, wrapping his mouth around Ashton’s dick, taking him into his mouth. Ashton grips the sheets as he moans out Luke’s name as he continues to take more of him in until he’s deep throating him. And Ashton has never felt so good and in so much need of a release. He knows Luke must have done this before with how experienced his mouth feels, knowing exactly what to do. It doesn’t take long for Ashton to reach his climax and he expects Luke to pull away but he doesn’t, he lets him cum in his mouth. The blonde swallows it then pulls of him. He back up to Ashton’s face, kissing him, letting him taste himself in Luke’s mouth. They pull back and Ashton just stares at Luke in amazement. 

“Wow, you sure know how to work your mouth,” he can’t help but to admit making the blonde blush red. 

“Well, I’ve had some practice,” Luke admits making Ashton’s stomach fill with jealousy. 

“Well, you can only practice on me from now on.” The blonde smirked as he lays back down beside him. 

“I plan on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> make sure to check out my new lashton/malum story, revenge and let me know your thoughts on the chapter.


	11. Are You Lost Without Me?

_ “So sing it back if you're with me _

_ I wanna hear how your heart speaks _

_ While we're young, while we're young _

_ This should be the time of our lives _

_ And I've been so lost without you _

_ Are you lost without me too?” _

  * Marianas Trench (While We’re Young)



Ashton wakes up early the next morning for work. Luke is sleeping in his arms, cuddled into his chest. He looks so peaceful, Ashton doesn’t want to wake him but he has to. 

“Luke, babe,” he says softly as he shakes him awake. Luke’s blue eyes flutter open as he groans. 

“It’s too early,” the blonde groans into Ashton’s chest. He just chuckles as he sits up a bit. 

“I have to get to work. Will you be okay staying here today? Calum will be home all day as well,” he tells him as he stands up and changes into his scrubs. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine. What time do you get off work?” Luke asks as he rolls over so he’s facing Ashton. 

“I work a 12 hour shift today so I don’t get off until six,” he replies, running a hand through his hair trying to make it less messy. 

“Could I stop by and bring you lunch?” Ashton smiles as he takes a seat on the bed as he ties his white tennis shoes. 

“That’d be nice. My lunch break is at noon. Thanks love,” he says leaning down to give Luke a quick kiss. The blonde pulls back and groans into his pillow. 

“Alright, get some sleep. I’ll see you later.” Ashton walks out into his family room, surprised to see Calum up watching TV. 

“Hey Cal,” he greets him as he puts a waffle in the toaster. Ashton takes a seat next to his friend waiting for his waffle. 

“Hey,” Calum says as he yawns. 

“You’re up early,” he comments. Calum usually sleeps in everyday until at least noon. 

“Yeah, I couldn’t sleep last night with all the noise you and Luke were making,” Calum tells him smirking as Ashton’s face goes beat red. 

“All night all I could hear was, Oh, Luke. That feels so good baby,” he mimicks Ashton’s moans causing him to slap Calum on the arm. 

“We were not that loud. Plus I did not sound like that.”

“You were loud enough for me to hear in the room over so I had to come out here to sleep. We have thin walls, Ash. And you sounded like a fucking sixteen year old girl having her first time.” Ashton just shakes his head as he gets up to get his waffles. He returns back to the couch and begins to eat. 

“I do not, but anyway I have to go to work and Luke is staying home from school so can you keep an eye on him?” he asks. 

“Why is he staying home from school? Did you guys fuck each other so hard he can’t walk?” Ashton slaps Calum in the arm again, he’s used to it though. 

“No, we didn’t even fuck. He just gave me a blowjob. And he’s staying home because he had a panic attack at school yesterday.” 

“Damn, the kid must give good blowjobs considering how loud you were,” Calum smirks causing Ashton to roll his eyes. 

“Will you keep an eye on him?”

“Yeah, maybe I’ll have him give me a blowjob,” he jokes as Ashton stands up to head to the door. He playfully shoves Calum off the couch then walks to the door. 

“I was joking.”

“Have a good day, Calum.”

Michael walks into school knowing Luke won’t be there. He goes to his locker to get his books. Out of the corner of his eye he spots Luke’s dad marching down the hallways. He looks furious and like he hasn’t slept in days. Michael hides his face behind his locker as he walks by him looking for his son. He lets out a sigh of relief when he turns into the office without seeing him. Michael heads to class only to be called down to the principle’s office. He contemplates ditching school but knows Luke’s dad will find him no matter where he goes. He walks into the office and sees the principle with Luke’s dad. 

“Good morning, Michael. Take a seat,” the principle greets. Michael does as told, not daring to look Luke’s dad in the eye. 

“As I’m sure you know, Luke hasn’t shown up to school the past few days and I guess he hasn’t been home either. Do you have any idea where he is?” he asks him. Michael musters up his best lying face and looks each of them in the eyes. 

“No, I have no idea. I haven’t been able to get a hold of him.” The principle nods while Luke’s dad looks furious. 

“Thanks, Michael. You may go back to class now. Let us know if you hear from Luke.” He walks out of the office thinking he’s dodged a bullet only to be stopped when he’s halfway down the hallway by Luke’s dad. 

“Please Michael, if you know where my son is tell me,” he practically begs but Michael doesn’t fall for it, not after seeing what he’s done to Luke. 

“I don’t know where he is.”

“I know you know where he is. Just tell me or I’ll…” Michael doesn’t let him finish his sentence. 

“Or what? You’ll beat me like you do to Luke? I won’t tell you where he is. He’s safe, away from you,” he tells him with sudden bravado. Luke’s dad just stares at him speechless. 

“Fine, I’ll find out for myself,” Luke’s dad mutters as he walks off. 

Luke finally gets up at ten. He climbs out of bed and out of the room. Calum sits on the couch playing video games. 

“Morning,” Calum greets. The blonde has never been alone with Calum. He knows he’s a good guy but he hasn’t gotten the chance to know him. 

“Morning,” he says sitting beside him. Calum looks up from his game pausing it. 

“You want to play with me?” the boy asks him holding up another controller. Luke smiles and nods as Calum hands him it. 

“How long have you and Ash known each other?” he asks him as they play a game of FIFA. 

“Since forever, we were neighbors growing up.” Luke nods imaging Ashton as a kid. 

“What was he like?” he can’t help but ask. Calum glances over to him, not sure how much to tell. 

“He hasn’t changed much, he always wanted to be a doctor growing up. He struggled coming out but once he did, he was a lot happier. His parents accepted him but not all of his friends did.”

“Did you accept him?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t. I’ve always accepted Ashton, even when he was lost and didn’t know who he was. We’ve always been there for each other.” Luke nods thinking of how he and Michael are like that but they’ve been growing a bit distant. And he knows he has himself to blame for it, for not letting him in for so long, for shutting him out. Luke looks to the clock seeing he should head up to Ashton’s work soon. He gets up from the couch. 

“Where are you going?” Calum asks him. 

“I told Ash I would bring him lunch,” he says lacing up his Vans and grabbing his wallet. 

“Here, take my car. And he likes chinese food.” Calum hands Luke over the keys to his 2009 Nissan Altima. 

“Thanks,” he says as he takes the keys into his hands. He then is out the door and goes to Calum’s car. He finds his car pretty easy. It’s covered in stickers that have sexual jokes on them. He drives to the nearest chinese place then to Ashton’s work. Calum has a 3oh!3 cd in his car, currently playing My Dick. Luke can’t help but laugh and sing along to the lyrics. 

“Every time I look at my dick, I'm like "Holy shit, that's a big dick.” And every time I look at your dick, I'm like "Holy shit, that's a small dick.””

He pulls up to Ashton’s work five minutes early. He grabs the food and walks into the hospital. The secretary greets him, recognizing him from yesterday. He enters the small lunch room for employees. Ashton sits at a table talking with two other guys. One has dark black hair and chocolate brown eyes, his hair is short. The other has brown hair with red dye in it and brown eyes. Ashton smiles when he sees Luke. The blonde makes his way over to him and gives him a quick peck on the lips. 

“Hey, babe,” Ashton says with a smile. Luke smiles back noticing the two guys looking at them. Ashton sits down and Luke sits in a chair next to him. 

“Luke, this is Kyle and that’s Jack,” he introduces them. Jack leans across the table to shake Luke’s hand. He has a smile on his face. Kyle looks a bit shy and maybe even jealous. 

“So this is the Luke, Ashton hasn’t been able to shut up about,” Jack says with a grin. Ashton kicks Jack under the table making him gasp. 

“Anyway, we’ll let you two have some alone time,” he says standing up raising his eyebrows in a suggestive way. Kyle follows him over to the vending machine. 

“How’s your day been?” Ashton asks him as he opens up the bag of chinese food with a smile on his face. 

“Good, I played a game of FIFA with Calum. How has yours been?”

“Busy but good.” They begin eating their food. 

“How long have you known Jack and Kyle?” he asks. 

“Well, Jack I’ve known since I first started working here. He’s a surgeon here. And Kyle just started working here over the summer. He had a crush on me when he first started working here,” Ashton tells him. Luke raises an eyebrow at him feeling a small pang of jealously in his stomach. 

“Really?”

“Really. But he’s not really my type.”

“What’s your type?” Luke asks curiously. 

Ashton smirks as he replies smoothly, “You.” Luke’s face lights up with a smile. He gets up from his chair and sits on his boyfriend’s lap, kissing him passionately. Ashton pulls back seeing all of his co workers looking at them. 

“Someone’s horny,” he whispers in Luke’s ear noting his evident hard on. 

“Well, you never repaid the favor for last night,” the blonde says seductively as he presses his hard on against Ashton. Ashton has to bit down on his lip to hold back his moans. 

“I will, just not here. I’ll pay you back tonight,” he says with a smirk. Luke nods but doesn’t leave his lap and continues to eat there. 


	12. Remember That You're Not Alone

_ “When heaven seems so far away _

_ And dreams are just a memory _

_ Without the dark the light won't show _

_ Remember that you're not alone _

_ When you watch the world just turn away _

_ And break the promises it made _

_ When love is all too hard to hold _

_ Just take a breath and let it go” - We the Kings (Just Keep Breathing) _

 

“I can do this,” Luke tells himself as he enters the school halls. He walks to his locker, cringing every time a locker is shut but manages to keep it together. 

“Hey Luke, how are you?” Michael asks him as he joins him by his locker. 

“I’m okay,” he decides determined to make it through the day. 

“That’s good, how are things with Ashton?” Michael asks changing the subject to something Luke will want to talk about. A smile crepts upon the blonde face as he thinks of last night. 

_ “What are you doing, Ash?” Luke asks his boyfriend as he gets up from under the covers and moves so he’s on top of him. He connects his lips with the blondes, letting his tongue roam his mouth as he grinds down on the younger boy.  _

_ “F-fuck,” Luke curses when he pulls away leaving him with a hard on.  _

_ “Let me take care of that for you,” he whispers into his ear as his hand palms him through his boxers making the blonde let out a gasp.  _

_ “Pl-please do.” Ashton smirks at him as he pulls down his boxers exposing Luke’s hard cock.  _

_ “Gotta repay you for how good you made me feel last night,” he says as he wraps his hand around him and starts working him. Ashton soon pulls his hand away and replaces it with his mouth, taking him all into him at once. Luke’s breath hitches in his throat, his hand pulls on Ashton’s curly locks letting a few moans escape his mouth.  _

_ “Fa-faster,” the blonde demands which he happily obligates, working his mouth faster, his tongue licking Luke’s tip.  _

_ “A-ash, I’m gonna cum,” he moans out as Ashton’s lips continue to do their work on him and soon Luke is cumming into his mouth. Ashton swallows the bitter tasting liquid and pulls off him.  _

_ “That was amazing,” Luke mumbles blessed out.  _

_ “You’re amazing.” _

“Earth to Luke, you there?” Michael repeats himself snapping his fingers in front of Luke’s face as a red blush comes over him. 

“Sorry, I was just remembering something,” he says with a smile.

“What?” Luke’s cheeks get even redder, if that’s even possible. 

“Ashton may have given me a bj last night,” he admits. Michael smiles at him, happy that his friend is happy. He hasn’t seen him smile in weeks. The bell rings and they go their separate ways. Michael can’t help but to think of Luke’s dad yesterday. He needs to tell him but is afraid he’ll open a can of worms. He decides he’ll tell him at lunch. 

Luke makes it through lunch, he takes his seat beside Michael in the courtyard. 

“Something happened yesterday while you weren’t here,” Michael says as he puts down his sandwich. The blonde raises an eyebrow for him to go on. 

“Your dad came to the school yesterday looking for you,” he tells him making Luke put down his sandwich as fear shows in his eyes. Michael’s known Luke his whole life and he’s never seen him scared of anything. He was always the one that would make him watch horror movies and ride all the big rollercoasters but now here he sits with a terrifying look in his eyes. 

“You didn’t tell him where I was staying, right?” he asks, his eyes desperate. Michael shakes his head. 

“No, I didn’t tell him. But he seemed pretty adamant on finding you,” he tells his friend. 

“You don’t think he’ll come back to the school?” Luke asks not wanting to see his dad. 

“I don’t know, Luke.”

Luke walks through Ashton’s apartment door after school to see his boyfriend dressed nicely in a grey button down and black skinny jeans. 

“How was your day at school?” he asks him after he pecks his lips. Luke lets out a sigh and pulls him into a hug. 

“My dad came to the school yesterday looking for me. What if he finds me, Ash?” the blonde worries out loud when he pulls back from the hug looking into his hazel eyes. 

“I won’t let him hurt you again,” he tells him before kissing his forehead. 

“Now, why don’t we forget about our problems for the day and go on a second date.” Luke smiles nodding as they leave the house. 

Luke asks his boyfriend multiple times where they’re going during their drive but he refuses to tell him. He finally arrives at their destination, the pier. Luke smiles, he hasn’t been here in years, not since he lost his mother. Ashton opens Luke’s door for him and they walk hand in hand towards the bridge where little shops are set up and a ferris wheel sits in the middle. They go to a few shops, then get dinner at a restaurant that overlooks the ocean. 

“I love it here,” Ashton admits. 

“Me too, I forgot how beautiful it is down here,” Luke tells him as memories of him and his mother play over in his mind. 

“When was the last time you were here?” he asks. 

“Five years ago with my mom,” the blonde says. 

“What was she like?” Luke smiles at her memory. 

“She was the most kind person in the world. She was always there for me no matter what.”

“Did you get to come out to her before she died?”

“No, I would like to think she would've accepted me.”

“I know she would’ve,” Ashton tells him with a smile taking Luke’s hand into his from across the table. 

After dinner they go to the ferris wheel. They watch the sunset from the top of the wheel. Ashton’s arm wrapped around Luke as his head is rested on his shoulder. Luke watches the sunset in utter happiness. He hasn’t been this happy in a long while. He thinks maybe, just maybe he can see himself falling in love with Ashton, if only he knew Ashton was thinking the same thing. 


	13. Hearts Are Only Open When They Break

_ “I wanna crash like a tidal wave _

_ Sinking to the ocean floor _

_ I want to stand in a crowded room _

_ Screaming the voice they can't ignore _

_ While everyone is sleeping _

_ I am wide awake _

_ Cause hearts are only open when they break.” _

  * Sleeping with Sirens (Save Me A Spark)



Luke is exchanging his books in his locker when he hears someone come up behind him. He turns around with a smile on his face thinking it’s Michael only to have it replaced with a frown and look of fear when he sees the man he was hoping to never see again, his father. The hallways are empty now, it’s just him and his dad. His dad has bags under his eyes like he hasn’t slept and has a permanent pissed off expression on his face while his son is practically glowing with his styled hair and his skin shining from all the sleep he’s been getting. 

“You’re alive,” his dad sighs out in relief as a smile forms on his face. 

“I didn’t think you cared,” Luke says honestly in a bitter voice. 

“I do care, son,” he looks in his son’s blue eyes with a pleading look. He actually looks sorry, but Luke doesn’t fall for it. 

“You don’t get to do that,” Luke states as he crosses his arms avoiding eye contact. 

“Do what?”

“Look at me like you’re innocent here, like I’m the one who hurt you when you were the one who put in the hospital just under a week ago.”

“You’re not innocent either, Luke. You’re the one committing the sin.”

“And so are you, I’m pretty sure God considers beating your son a sin too.”

“Maybe, but it’s not like you don’t deserve it. You need some sense knocked into you. Now come home with me and we can forget this ever happened,” his dad says. Luke just shakes his head. 

“No, I’m not going home with you,” he states. His dad runs a hand through his hair getting frustrated. 

“Dammit, Luke just come home with me,” he says more sternly this time. 

“No.” Luke shuts his locker and begins to walk away from his dad. 

“I’m going to find out where you’re staying and when I do I will drag your ass back home.” Luke shakes at those words as he runs to the nearest bathroom. He goes into one of the stalls, locking it behind him. He slides down the stall door and lets himself come undone, bringing his knees to his chest and sobbing uncontrollably into them. 

Ashton arrives back from his early hospital shift. It is noon now and Calum sits on the couch watching reruns of Family Feud. Ashton takes a seat beside his friend. 

“Ash, we never hang out just the two of us anymore. We should do something while Luke’s at school.” Despite how tired Ashton is he nods and agrees. They decide to go out to lunch at a nearby pub. The place is practically empty considering how early it is. They get a table and order burgers and beers. Ashton hasn’t had a drink since Luke started staying with them. He isn’t a big drinker but usually Calum and him try and out go at least once a week to a pub or club where they have a few beers. The waiter serves them their food and they begin eating. 

“We haven’t been here in so long,” Calum says before he takes a bite of his burger, moaning at how good it tastes. 

“Yeah, been a little busy to do that.”

“I know but we should go out to the club sometime soon, Luke could come if you want.” 

“Yeah, maybe.”

“Speaking of Luke, you two were pretty loud the other night,” he says with a smirk. Ashton rolls his eyes as he eats his food. 

“Why don’t we talk about your love life, Cal?” Ashton says changing the subject. 

“But I don’t have one right now. I haven’t had sex in weeks,” he admits. 

“Why’s that?” 

“Cause I don’t have a drinking buddy to go out with and I can’t go out clubbing alone.” 

“Cal, you know you can go out on your own. You’re 23 and have your own car.” Ashton feels a bit bad for focusing all of his attention on Luke but he’s needed him and Ashton likes being there for him. 

“I know, I just don’t like to go alone,” he states.

“You have other friends you could go with you know.”

“I know, I just I don’t know.” Calum sighs as he finishes his burger. 

“I just miss hanging out just the two of us I guess is what I’m saying.” Ashton sighs as he puts down his beer. 

“I do too, I’m sorry Cal if it feels like I’ve forgotten about you. I haven’t, it’s just with everything going with Luke, he needs me.”

“I know and you need him too,” he tells him making his friend look at him.

“How so?” Ashton asks. 

“Ash, I haven’t seen you this happy since Finn. The way you look at Luke, it’s the same way you look at Finn. You might not see it yet but you love him and I know he loves you too.” 

“What if I’m afraid?” Ashton asks as tears threatened to escape his eyes. 

“Afraid of what?” Calum wonders curious. 

“Falling in love. Getting hurt. Losing Luke like I lost Finn. I don’t think I could handle losing him,” he admits as tears manage to escape his eyes. 

“You just have to trust that this time things are going to work out and even if they don’t, isn’t having that happiness, falling in love again, worth a little pain?” Ashton nods knowing he’s right. 

Luke arrives home from school to see Ashton and Calum on the couch laughing as they watch TV. He drops his bag making them look up at him. His eyes are still red from crying earlier. Ashton stands up and walks over to him. 

“Are you okay? What happened?” he asks as he pulls the blonde into his arms hugging him. 

“My dad came to the school today. What if he finds me, Ash? What if he makes me go back home and hurts me again?” Luke cries into Ashton’s white shirt soaking it with tears. He strokes his blonde hair in a soothing manner. 

“I won’t let that happen, baby. He is never going to hurt you again,” Ashton tells him trying to sound as confident as he can when he deep down knows that isn’t true. They always come back. He’s seen many cases of child abuse and when the child runs away, the abuses rarely just lets their child get away. They always come back for them, force them to return home, hurt them. Ashton knows in his gut that is what’s going to happen but he convinces himself that he will do everything in his power to prevent that from happening, to prevent Luke from getting hurt again. 


	14. We're Just Aiming to Please

_ “You've got me poppin' champagne _

_ I'm at it again _

_ Caught up in the moment _

_ But not in the right way _

_ I'm falling in between _

_ Tearing up at the seams _

_ We're just aiming to please _

_ And aesthetics don't hurt one bit.” _

 

  * __All Time Low (Poppin’ Champagne)__



 

Luke stands in front of the mirror looking at his reflection. His bruises are starting to fade, his wounds are healing, but there’s still a hole in his heart from the betrayal of his father. He wears black skinny jeans, an As It Is shirt with a flannel, his black lip ring that he hasn’t worn in a while, and Vans. He feels arms snake around his waist as he sees Ashton’s reflection join him in the mirror. 

“You look hot babe with that lip ring,” he whispers in his ear. The blonde smirked as he turns around and connects his lips with his boyfriend’s. Their lips work feverishly against each other, Ashton biting down on his lip ring and sucking on it making Luke let out a loud moan. 

“You guys ready to go?” Calum asks as him and Michael walk into their bedroom disrupting them. They pull apart both semi hard and blush as they look to their friends. 

“Yeah,” Ashton says as he takes Luke’s hand into his and they leave the house. They take Ashton’s car since he refuses to be in seen in Calum’s car that is covered in stickers with sexual jokes on them. Luke holds Ashton’s hand as he drives. 

“I can’t wait to get laid, it’s been so long,” Calum remarks causing the other boys to chuckle. 

“It’s been a week, Cal. That isn’t that long,” Ashton tells him. 

“Says the one who has been getting laid just about every night.” Both Luke and Ashton blush bright red as Michael looks between the two. He’s happy for his friend, that he’s found someone he can be himself with. They arrive at the club and pull into a parking spot. They walk into the club together and head straight to the bar where they get beers. Ashton is the designated driver so he only has one drink while the rest of them get completely wasted. They make their way to the dance floor and Calum is dancing with some chick he met with blonde hair and green eyes while Michael is with a pretty auburn brunette. 

“Dance with me, Ash,” Luke giggles against Ashton’s neck as he swings his arms around him lazily. They dance to the shitty fast paced pop music that kids listen to these days, Luke letting his hips rock against him on the dance floor. He rubs their members together as he connects their lips, kissing him passionately, their tongues dancing. Ashton can feel himself growing hard. It takes everything in him to pull back and whisper in Luke’s ear, “we’re in public babe.”

“Then let’s go somewhere private,” he says as he rolls his hips against Ashton against, making sure their crouches touch. Ashton nods and let’s Luke lead him to the bathroom. He locks the door behind them, pinning Ashton up against the door as he kisses him. He moans into Luke’s mouth, making the younger boy smirk as he picks him up and sets him on the counter. The blonde positions himself in between his legs and goes down on him, kissing every single part of him. 

When they are done they exit the bathroom to find their friends still on the dance floor only they aren’t dancing, they’re making out with each other. Both of their jaws drop at seeing Michael and Calum kiss. Ashton’s expression soon turns into a smile as he pulls Luke into his side. 

“Let’s go home,” he says as he kissed the blonde’s head knowing Calum and Michael can catch a cab and probably don’t want to be disturbed anyway. They don’t go home right away, the end up at the beach watching the night stars. They walk along the water, Luke still feels a bit dazed and as though he’s floating. But he likes the feeling, it helps him forget about the aching hole in his heart from his dad. The blonde takes a bad step and tumbles to the sand, bringing Ashton down with him. Ashton lands on top of him, he looks into his ocean blue eyes as a sadness takes over them. 

“You okay, Luke?” Ashton asks him as he pulls back a bit. 

“My dad doesn’t love me,” he says with sudden realization. The blonde holds an unreadable expression that makes Ashton just look into his eyes, wanting to make him feel better. 

“My mom’s dead, Michael probably thinks I’m a trainwreck and you, you,” Luke cries as Ashton places a hand on his chin, making him look him in the eyes. 

“I what, Luke?” he asks. Tears pour down his porcelain cheeks. 

“You, you’re too good for me. One day both you and michael will realize that and leave me. But I don’t blame you.” He breaks out in sobs now. 

“Cause who could love me? I’m unloveable,” Luke states his voice like broken glass. Ashton feels his throat tighten around the three words he wants to tell, the three words he knows he feels, but he’s to scared to say them after what happened with Finn. So instead, he hugs him tight, letting him soak his shirt. 

“I will never leave you,” he tells him while in his head saying those three magic words. He takes Luke back to his apartment where he passes out and doesn’t remember a thing in the morning. But Ashton does, and he can’t help but wish he had said those three words. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that the chapter is so short but the next one is an important chapter so look out for that. Let me know what you think of the chapter.


	15. I Can't Bear to Let You Leave

_ “Give me strength to see you weak _

_ 'Cause I can't bear to let you leave _

_ I know you're tired, but please don't sleep _

_ 'Cause I can't bear to let you leave _

 

_ You've been claimed by your suffering _

_ Sinking deeper in your pain _

_ If you made a recovery _

_ Could you ever be the same?” _

 

  * __As It Is (Austen)__



 

Luke wakes up to the smell of bacon and eggs. He smiles as he gets out of bed and sees his boyfriend cooking. He has a massive headache from the night before and doesn’t remember anything besides Calum and Michael making out. He wraps his arms around Ashton’s waist from behind and kisses his neck. Ashton turns around in his hold, looking the blonde in the eye. 

“You sleep okay?” he asks. Luke nods as he lets out a yawn. 

“Do you remember much from last night?” The blonde shakes his head as he takes a seat on the counter. 

“I remember getting drunk and seeing Calum and Michael kiss but that’s about it.” Ashton turns off the stove, walking over to Luke, standing in between his legs. 

“Yeah, Calum didn’t come home last night. Can only guess whose place he stayed at.” Luke reaches forward bringing him closer to him, wrapping his legs around his waist and arms around his neck. He connects their lips, kissing him with passion. Ashton pulls back and looks at the blue eyed boy. 

“Did I do or say anything stupid last night?” Luke asks. Ashton shakes his head not wanting to bring up Luke’s meltdown at the beach. 

“No, you are a rather needy drunk though,” he tells him as the blonde buries his head in his neck in embarrassment. 

“What’d I do?”

“You may have gone down on me in the bathroom of the club,” Ashton tells him making him blush. 

“Oh, god.”

“Hey, don’t be embarrassed. You were really good,” he says with a smirk. Luke shoves him playfully then pulls him close kissing him again. The kiss soon becomes heated and Luke’s hands are all over Ashton, while his play with Luke’s messy blonde hair. They’re interrupted by a knock on the door. They pull apart. 

“That’s probably Calum. He probably forgot his keys,” he says as he works towards the door, leaving Luke on the counter. Ashton walks over to the door with a smile on his face. 

“You forget your keys?” he says as he opens the door. His smile soon disappeared when he sees the man standing in front of him, Luke’s dad. 

“You can’t be here,” Ashton says in a low tone so Luke doesn’t hear. But he doesn’t care, he takes a step past Ashton into the apartment. 

“I can too be here, he’s my son,” he demands. The blonde takes notice of them and hops off the counter. He walks into the entryway where his dad and Ashton stand. 

“Dad, go home,” Luke tells him. His father takes in his son’s appearance, his golden skin that only has boxers covering it with no shirt to hide the faint bruises on his chest, his hair is messy from Ashton pulling at it and his lips are chapped. Luke can only imagine what he dad thinks of him right now. 

“No, I am not going home until you come with me!” he shouts. 

“I’m not coming home with you,” Luke states standing his ground. Ashton looks between the two. His dad suddenly steps forward and grips ahold of his son’s wrist tight enough to leave a bruise. 

“I’m not giving you a choice,” he mutters pulling him towards the door. Ashton acts quickly trying to get between Luke and his dad. 

“Let go of him, he isn’t going anywhere with you,” he tells him. Luke’s dad chuckles at this. 

“What makes you think you have the right to keep him from me. You know I could easily have you arrested for kidnapping.” 

“And what would they say about you physically abusing your son!” Ashton shouts. His dad steps forward letting go of Luke. 

“You wouldn’t dare tell them that, you know why? Because if you tell I’ll make sure you two never see each other again.” Luke’s jaw drops at this as he stares at his father. 

“You can’t do that!” the boy cries. 

“Yes, I can. If you see him again, I will hurt both you and him,” he threatens. Ashton backs down at this not wanting Luke to get hurt. Luke’s blue eyes meet with Ashton’s hazel, pleading with him to save him. But he can’t. No one can. 

“Luke, you should go with him,” Ashton tells him. Luke’s heart falls in his chest as he looks between the two then goes to Ashton’s bedroom to grab his stuff. Ashton soon joins him in the bedroom. Luke packs his bag without looking at him. 

“Luke, look at me,” he pleads. His blue eyes lock with his. 

“I can’t have him hurting you, I care about you too much,” Ashton tells him with his hands on the blonde’s porcelain cheeks that are now stained with tears. 

“But I can’t leave you, I won’t survive without you,” Luke cries. He pulls the boy into his arms. 

“I’m not leaving you, Luke. We will make this work. We just have to be really secretive,” he tells him which Luke nods as Ashton wipes away his tears. 

“Luke! Don’t make me come in there!” his dad yells interrupting their moment. Ashton leaves a lingering kiss on Luke’s lips then leads him out of the room. He watches as he takes Luke away from him, he watches as the love of his life walks away. 


	16. All I Want to do Is Be More Like Me and Less like You

_ “Every step that I take is another mistake to you. _

_ And every second I waste is more than I can take. _

_ I've become so numb, I can't feel you there, _

_ Become so tired, so much more aware _

_ I'm becoming this, all I want to do _

_ Is be more like me and be less like you.” _

 

  * __Linkin Park (Numb)__



 

Luke sits on his bed in his room staring into nothingness. He hasn’t moved from his bed since his dad dragged him back to it a few days ago. He can’t sleep without feeling Ashton’s warm body next to his, he feels cold, empty, lost without him. He’s been texting with him but hasn’t seen him since. They’re too afraid for the others safety to meet up. He rolls over onto his back, looking up at his ceiling. He feels numb without Ashton. It took him losing him to realize how much the boy really means to him. He wonders how he went on with his life before Ashton came into it. Now he can’t imagine life without him. Luke knows there’s a word for what he’s feeling but he doesn’t want to admit that’s what the pit feeling in his stomach is, why he can’t sleep at night or function without Ashton, why when he’s with him he feels invincible. He’s too afraid to admit it to himself. He knows what happened to Ashton’s ex, and his mom. He’s afraid if he says those three words, he’ll end up like them. 

Meanwhile, Ashton is thinking similar thoughts. He thinks about how much he misses the blonde, though it’s only been a few days. He knows the sinking feeling in his heart, it’s the same feeling he got when he saw Finn being wheeled into the hospital that late December night. 

_ Ashton walks out of a small hospital room and into the hallway. He goes over to the secretary.  _

_ “You almost off?” he asks her. She tries to smile but it doesn’t reach her eyes, she’s had a long day at work.  _

_ “Yeah, what about you?”  _

_ “I still have a few hours,” Ashton tells her. A team of medics rush in with a body on a gurney. There’s a lot of frantic talking and rushing. Ashton looks over to the medics. It’s hard to make out the body on the gurney with the sufficient trauma to his chest and head. It seems the patient has flatlined and the medics are trying desperately to revive him. But he doesn’t wake up, he’s gone. The medics whisper to each other as they roll the body to a private room. Ashton wonders why they don’t just take the body straight to the morgue, maybe the family wants to see it. One of the medics make his way over to Ashton. He’s one of Ashton’s good friends that he works with, Jack.  _

_ “Ash, can I speak with you?” he asks. His friend’s face looks nervous and in shock at the same time.  _

_ “What did you want to talk to me about?” Ashton asks him as they round the corner, walking towards the room the gurney was taken into. Jack stops in front of the door to the room, looking him in the eye. He takes a deep breath.  _

_ “I’m not quite sure how to tell you this,” he says at first, conflict evident in his eyes.  _

_ “Just tell me.”  _

_ “The patient we just brought in, the one that flatlined was Finn. He was involved in a headon collision, the other driver involved ran through a red light hitting him. He’s in critical condition but um, Finn didn’t make it. We tried to revive him but we couldn’t. I’m sorry, Ash,” Jack tells him making Ashton’s world fall apart. Tears roll down his cheeks, he doesn’t want to believe Finn is dead.  _

_ “I want to see his body,” Ashton states to which Jack nods and opens the door to the room then leaves him alone. Ashton’s hazel eyes fall on the lifeless body of his fiance. His chest is impounded in and there’s so much trauma to his head he’s almost unrecognizable. And Ashton’s convinced this isn’t his soon to be husband, the man he’s supposed to marry next month. But then he sees the engagement ring on his finger and knows it’s him. This is really happening. He falls to his knees sobbing into the hospital bed. There goes his happy ending.  _

Luke is startled when his dad opens his room door, he was caught in a daze. 

“Have you left your room at all this weekend?” he asks in a tone that almost sounds like he cares but Luke knows better. The blonde just shakes his head. 

“Son, you need to get over that faggot. He’s probably already over you.” Luke cringes when his dad says this cause he knows it’s not true, he knows what Ashton and him have is real and Ashton wouldn’t just give up on him. 

“Don’t call him that,” Luke snaps. 

“It’s what he is.”

“No, dad. It’s who I am. You want to call someone names and beat someone up, do it to me, not Ashton. Leave Ashton out of this.” Luke’s dad stares at him seeing a familiar look in his eye, the look of someone in love. It’s how he looked at Luke’s mom. He just can’t understand how Luke can feel that way about a man. 

“I’ll drive you to school tomorrow,” he says as he heads out of the room. The blonde sighs as he lies back on his bed looking over to see a picture of him, his dad and his mom. They all seem so happy in the picture and they were. Who knew, that happy smiling family would be broken a few years later. Luke wonders what his mom would do if she was alive, would she stand up for him and accept him for who he is or would she be along side his dad. 


	17. A Broken Mess, Just Scattered Pieces of Who I am

_ “I'm here again _

_ A thousand miles away from you _

_ A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am _

_ I tried so hard _

_ Thought I could do this on my own _

_ I've lost so much along the way _

_ Then I'll see your face _

_ I know I'm finally yours _

_ I find everything I thought I lost before _

_ You call my name _

_ I come to you in pieces _

_ So you can make me whole.” _

 

  * __Red (Pieces)__



 

Luke grabs his books from his locker, finally over with school for the week. Luke’s dad had insisted on driving him to and home from school this whole week. He isn’t allowing Luke to use his car at all, he even hid his keys on him. It’s been a pretty dreadful week without Ashton. His dad took away his phone too, so he’s had no contact with the boy. And he honestly feels like he’s dying, like he can’t breathe without him. Each day without him the pain grows more and more, like there’s a hole in his heart and only one person can fill that void. Michael runs over to him with his books in hand. His dad hasn’t even allowed him to hang out with Michael unless it’s at his house. Today, Michael is going over to his house after school and sleeping over. His friend insisted that Luke needed this, he hasn’t left his room except to go to school. He’s worried about the blonde. 

“You ready to have some fun tonight?” Michael asks with a smile on his face as they walk out of the school towards Luke’s dad’s Range Rover. 

“I guess,” he mumbles, not really in the mood. All he wants to do is see Ashton, look into his hazel eyes, feel safe and secure in his arms, kiss his warm, soft lips that take him to heaven. They get into his dad’s car, his gives them both a stern smile. 

“Hey, Mr. Hemmings,” Michael greets him while Luke doesn’t even look at his dad. They pull away from the school and drive home. When they get to the house, Michael and Luke go to his room where they play video games. But Luke really isn’t into it, he keeps on losing without even trying. 

“How are things with your dad? Has he uh, has he…,” Michael’s not really sure how to ask him. 

“No, he hasn’t beat me.”

“That’s good. Have you spoken to him at all about it?” he asks. 

“No, and I don’t intend to,” Luke mutters, his answers short and harsh. 

“Have you spoken to Ashton?” The blonde drops the game control and sighs. He turns and looks to his friend. Michael looks back at him, actually taking in his appearance, he has bags under his eyes which are red from crying, his hair is messy and his whole appearance just looks off, almost dull, like he’s just going through the motions. 

“No. Can we just get back to the game? I don’t want to talk about this,” Luke snaps putting up his wall that Michael had worked so hard to break down. They’ve known each other since forever, Luke tells him everything but he can’t tell him how he really is, how he hasn’t slept or eaten in days, how every time he closes his eyes he sees his dad beating him, and when he opens them he sees it again, how he’s been crying himself to sleep each night, and how he holds the stuffed bear Ashton got him to his chest each night as he cries. 

“Yeah, sure,” Michael says and they go back to the game. Michael feels defeated that Luke won’t open up to him and that he can’t make his friend feel better. 

They put on a movie and soon Michael falls asleep. Luke isn’t even tired at this point. He looks to his clock seeing it’s midnight and his dad should be asleep. He goes over to Michael and quietly takes his phone. He tiptoes down the stairs, goes over to where the keys are. He searches for where his dad hid his keys but can’t find them so he looks around the house. He finds them in a cookie jar. He grabs them, going out to his car and driving off. 

Ashton is trying but failing to fall asleep when he hears a knock on the door. He looks to the clock seeing it’s 1am, who could possibly be here at this time? He wonders as he gets up and walks out to the kitchen. He turns on the hallway light and opens the door to see Luke. A smile spreads across both their faces, the blonde nearly leaps into Ashton’s arms, despite to feel his warmth. They just stand there in the middle of the hallway, hugging each other, enjoying how safe they feel in each other's arms. They finally pull apart and Luke steps inside his apartment. 

“I missed you,” he tells Ashton. 

“I missed you too but what are you doing here? Does your dad know you’re here?” Ashton asks looking worried. 

“No, he doesn’t know. Ash, he took my phone and car away.” he tells him. 

“Then how did you get here?” 

“I snuck out, I had to see you. I didn’t think I could last another minute without you,” Luke tells him. Ashton melts at this, bringing Luke into his arms again. 

“I missed you so much, baby,” he tells him as he kisses his head. Standing there in Ashton’s arm that warm feeling comes over him again and he can’t deny it anymore. He loves Ashton, he’s madly in love with the boy. If only he had the courage to tell him so.


	18. Don't Paint Me Black When I Used to be Golden

_ “This is your life there's no way to run from it _

_ The doubt in your brain or the pain in your stomach _

_ I only have but one complaint at the moment: _

_ Don't paint me black when I used to be golden” _

 

  * __The Story So Far (Clairvoyant)__



 

“Luke, you’ve already missed most of the deadlines, have you applied anywhere?” The blonde sits in the counseling office with his counselor. She had called him down to talk about his ‘future’. But all Luke could think about was getting through to the next day. 

“No, I’ve been a little busy,” he tells her leaving out that part of the reason he hasn’t applied is because of his dad beating him and him being in and out of the hospital the past few months. 

“Well, luckily you have great grades and test scores, though you have been missing a lot of school lately and it’s showing on your grades but colleges should still want you. What do you want to major in?”

“I don’t know,” Luke shrugs, he hasn’t put much thought into it. 

“Do you know what college you want to go to?” she asks. 

“I guess University of Sydney,” he says. 

“University of Sydney is a great school, I have some phamlets and an application if you want.” Luke takes the papers and leaves the office heading to Michael’s. His dad has finally let him have his phone back and car but installed a tracker on it so he can tell where he is at all times. He spots his friend at the front doors. 

“Hey, where were you?” Michael asks. Michael had woke up the night of their sleep over as Luke was climbing into his own window. He didn’t say anything, just gave him a sympathetic look. 

“Counseling, had to discuss my future,” he tells him. 

“I saw mine today too, we should apply together.” Luke nods as they head to his car and drive to Michael’s house. 

Ashton walks into work with a smile on his face, he’s been texting Luke all day and he’s so much happier now that he can talk to him. He goes over to one of the nurses clocking in. 

“How are you, Ashton?” she asks him. 

“I’m good, how are you?” he responds. Her smile falls as she looks to one of the rooms. 

“I’m okay, did you hear about Sarah?” Ashton shakes his head. 

“She was brought in last night, a neighbor had heard loud noises and found her unconscious. She’s in critical condition,” she tells him making Ashton’s heart beat fast. 

“What are her injuries?” he asks. 

“She has multiple burn marks all over her and a severe head injury, seems like she hit it hard on concrete. She’s been in and out of consciousness since she came in but the burns damaged her kidneys.” Ashton can’t hear the rest, he runs to her room to see her laying there still on a hospital bed. She’s all bandaged up, hooked up to a lifeline which beats steadily. She weakly opens her eyes as she spots Ashton. 

“Ashy,” she says weakly with a smile. 

“Hey, Sarah,” he greets her trying his best not to break down and cry. She didn’t deserve this, no one deserves this. She’s just a kid. 

“What happened?” he gathers the courage to ask her. 

“Daddy got really mad and pushed me down the stairs and then told me he was going to put me in time out, he put me in the oven and left me there for a few hours.” Ashton can’t bear to listen as he desperately blinks away his tears. 

“He hasn’t come to visit me, do you know where he is?” she asks innocently. She’s just eight years old, she doesn’t understand what’s going on, that her dad could have killed her. Ashton bends down and looks her in the eye. 

“Sarah, honey, I don’t think you’re going to see your dad anytime soon,” he tells her in a soft voice. 

“Why?” she asks looking like she’s about to cry. Ashton bites the bottom of his lip to keep from sobbing in front of her. 

“Sarah, your dad did this to you. He hurt you.”

“He didn’t mean to though, it was an accident.”

“This isn’t the first time he’s hurt you, he could've killed you.”

“But he’s my dad, he would never hurt me on purpose. He loves me and I love him,” she tells him with confusion. He doesn’t know how to get her to see that her dad did this to her. So he plants a kiss on her forehead and whispers, “I love you, Sarah.” He stands up and goes to leave. As soon as she can’t see him anymore he breaks down in sobs, falling to the floor. 

Michael and Luke sit in Michael’s room filling out their college applications. Michael looks over to his friend who is struggling with the essay portion. 

“Have you talked to your dad about college?” Michael asks him. Luke looks over at him, placing his pen down. 

“Not recently. I guess I’m hoping I get in and can leave him for good, live on campus or with a roommate,” the blonde tells him. Michael smiles, liking the sound of Luke getting away from his abusive father. 

“What about Ashton?” he asks. 

“What about him? I’m going to college close by so I’ll get to see him as often as I’d like.” 

“So you see a future with him?” Michael asks looking into Luke’s blue eyes. He nods with a smile, something his friend hasn’t seen him do in a while. 

“I can’t imagine my life without him, I love him. I’m in love with him,” he says, his eyes lighting up just thinking of the hazel eyed boy. 

“Have you told him yet?” Luke shakes his head at this. 

“His last relationship really crushed him and I’m afraid he won’t feel the same or we’ll have the same fate.” 

“You should tell him, Luke. I’m sure he loves you too.”

“Thanks, Mike,” the blonde says with a smile pulling his friend close for a hug. 

“Enough of this sappy stuff, let’s finish these applications. What’s your essay question?” he asks him seeing he’s still struggling with it as no words are written on the lines. 

“It says, write about an experience that changed you for the better or the worse and how it has impacted your life today.” 

“Do you know what you’re going to write about?”

“I think I’ll write about my life right now. My dad, you, Ashton.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so short, next one will be longer.


	19. Who Knew You'd Be Hated for Being Who You Are

_ “Who knew you’d be hated for being who you are _

_ And be a big target for all the insecure _

_ There’s a bulls eye painted on our chests _

_ In the crosshairs of the ignorant _

_ But I am not your scapegoat anymore.” _

 

  * __Beartooth (Hated)__



 

 

Luke arrives home from school to find his dad sitting in the family room with a stern look on his face. He turns the TV off when the blonde enters the room. He grabs a packet of papers and tosses them at Luke, not caring that they hit him in the face. 

“What the fuck?” he says as he flinches to avoid getting a paper cut. His dad stands up, his face red with anger. 

“I told you not to talk to him! And you disobeyed me!” he yells. 

“What?” 

“Don’t act dumb, I went through the phone records. You’ve been sneaking out to see him. Why would you risk it? I told you what would happen if you saw him again!” his dad yells, a mix of anger and confusion. 

“Cause I love him, dad!” Luke admits shouting causing his dad to laugh. 

“You don’t know the first thing about love! You’re not even 18.” The blonde shakes his head, stepping closer to his dad. 

“Didn’t you tell me once that love is when you can’t imagine your life without someone? When you put their needs before your own? When you would do anything and everything to be with them?” he questions, close to his dad’s face now. 

“Love is between a man and a women, not two men!” he shouts before he gives Luke a strong blow to the jaw, strong enough to knock out a few teeth. He stumbles back from the blow, grabbing hold of the couch to keep himself up. His dad shoves him to the floor and gets on top of him, punching him repeatedly until Luke begins seeing stars and everything goes black. 

When Luke opens his eyes, he has a sharp pain in his back and his head is pounding. He sits up seeing his dad has left. Luke stands up, grabbing his keys and drives to the only place that feels like home. 

His head throbs the entire drive there and he has to fight the urge to fall asleep. He reaches Ashton’s apartment and goes to his room, knocking on his door. Ashton opens the door, dressed in his work clothes, he had just gotten back from his shift. His heart breaks seeing the boy he loves standing at his door with fresh bruises all over his face. 

“Babe, are you okay? What happened?” he asks the blonde. 

“Yeah, I think I’m okay. My dad went through our texts, he knows I’ve been sneaking out,” Luke explains. 

“Come on, babe, let’s get you cleaned up,” Ashton says as he lets him inside, taking him to his bathroom. He lifts the petite blonde onto the sink counter and wets a washcloth, wiping the blood from his face. 

“I’m sorry he did this. I feel like this is all my fault,” Ashton states as he finishes cleaning Luke’s wounds, pulling away from him. The blonde reaches out to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him into him, so they’re chest to chest. 

“It’s not your fault, Ash. And even if it was, he wouldn’t be able to stop me from seeing you,” Luke pauses as he takes a deep breath looking into Ashton’s hazel eyes that are his safe haven. 

“‘Cause I love you. Ash, I’m in love with you,” he tells him taking Ashton’s breath away. Ashton’s hazel eyes search Luke’s blue ones, dropping the wall he’s built since he’s lost Finn. 

“I love you too, Luke,” Ashton admits making the blonde smile. Luke connects their lips, pouring all his feelings into the kiss, kissing him with so much passion and Ashton kisses back with the same passion, in love with the boy in front of him. The kiss soon turns heated and Ashton lifts Luke off the counter, the blonde wrapping his legs around his waist. 

“Bedroom?” Ashton asks to which Luke nods as he carries him to his room. It doesn’t take long for their clothes to be discarded and every piece of skin to be touched, to be kissed, to be loved. Ashton falls in love with Luke all over again watching him arch his back, screaming his name as he comes. And as he falls asleep with the blonde boy in his arms he knows he’s gotten a second chance at love. And this time he isn’t letting him get away. 

The events of the next morning feel like deja vou. The boys wake up to hear a loud banging on the apartment door. They look to each other knowing it’s Luke’s dad. Neither of them get up to answer. That’s when the banging gets louder, it sounds as if his dad if trying to break open the door. 

“Luke, I know you’re in there. I swear to God if you don’t open this door, I will call the fucking police!” his dad shouts making the boys go out to the hallway. The blonde hesitantly placed his hand on the doorknob, before he can open the door Ashton pulls him close for a kiss. 

“We won’t let him destroy us. I love you, Luke. Remember that no matter what happens,” he tells him. Before Luke can respond Ashton opens to door to reveal a very angry looking Mr. Hemmings. As soon as the door is open, he takes a hold of his son by his shirt and drags him out of the apartment. Ashton lunges forward, trying to pry the man’s hands off him. 

“Hey! Don’t touch me like that! You’re going to hurt him!” Ashton shouts as he shoves Luke’s dad off his son, making him go flying to the wall from his force. His dad looks to the dirty blonde with a look of hatred and disgust. The blonde lies on the floor, frozen in fear as his dad punches his boyfriend in the eye, hard enough to leave a bruise. Ashton stumbles back but regains his balance, shoving him to the wall and suckerpunches him. By now, they’ve woken the neighbors up and there’s a crowd watching them. Luke’s dad shoves him with all his strength leaving Ashton on the floor in shambles. He then quickly grabs his son and drags him out of the apartment complex. He doesn’t let go of him until he is seated in his dad’s car and they are driving home. 

Calum shows up at the scene too late to find his friend outside his apartment door breaking down in sobs. He rushes over to his friend, kneeling beside him asking what happened. 

“I let him take him, I let him get away,” he cries. Calum pulls Ashton into a hug and lets him cry into his sweater. After a few minutes, he helps his friend stand up and they enter the apartment. Calum cleans him up, he has a nasty black eye forming but his wounds are nothing compared to Luke’s. Ashton showers and gets changed for work, forcing a smile and acting like everything is fine when he feels a part of him has been ripped away on the inside. 

When he shows up to work there’s a police officer waiting there for him. He doesn’t get the chance to wonder why he’s there before he’s taken to a back room. 

“Ashton, I’m here to ask you a few questions about one of your patients, Sarah Woods. I’ve been told you’ve treated her multiple times.” 

“Yeah, I’ve treated her many times.”

“Has she ever told you how she got her injuries?” Ashton remembers Sarah’s words of how she loves her father and he would never hurt her, then he flashes back to Luke’s dad beating him. 

“Yes, her dad beats her. The latest incident, she told me how he pushed her down the stairs and locked her in the oven for hours,” he tells them. 

“Why didn’t you report her dad before now?”

“I don’t know. I guess I was hoping that he would stop after each trip to the hospital. And Sarah, she blames herself for everything her dad does to her. She stills loves him and doesn’t think he would ever intentionally hurt her.” The police officer writes down some notes then puts his notepad away. 

“Thanks for being honest with us.”

“He’s not going to see her again, right?” 

“As of right now, we do not have enough evidence to arrest him.”

“Not enough evidence? I just told you that he put her in a fucking oven!”

“Sarah said that it was an accident and so does her father.” Ashton stares at the officer with an unbelieveable expression. He decides he will do everything within his power to ensure Sarah never gets hurt again. Little does he know he’s too late. 


	20. I'm Not Leaving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, we're down to the final five chapters.

_ “I promise I would never do you wrong _

_ No _

_ I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving _

_ I'm staying here _

_ I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving _

_ 'Til we make it there.” _

 

  * __Sleeping With Sirens (2 Chord)__



 

Luke lets Michael beat him at another game of FIFA. He can’t stop thinking about Ashton. He needs to see him, even if his dad hurts him. He loves him and would risk everything for him. He’s the one for him and Luke knows that sounds crazy since he’s only 17 but he’s in love with Ashton and he can’t imagine his life without him.  

“Thinking about Ashton?” Michael asks noticing his friend’s lack of interest in the game. Luke lets out a sigh and looks to his green eyed friend. 

“Why do things have to be so hard? I love him, shouldn’t that be enough?” the blonde asks as tears begin to pour down his face as images of Luke’s dad hurting Ashton flashes through his mind. 

“It is, or it should be. Some people are just to blinded by fear and hate to see love.” Luke shakes his head thinking back to how this all started. 

“How did we get here? To where my dad would rather beat me up than have a rational conversation with me? Does he really hate me that much?” he asks. Michael wraps an arm around his friend. 

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks. I love you, Luke and Ashton loves you. And if you’re mom was still alive she would still love you too.” Luke nods his head, hugging his friend as tears pour down his cheeks. They pull back from the hug and Michael picks up two envelopes that lay on the table. 

“These came in the mail yesterday,” he says as he hands Luke a letter from University of Sydney. Michael holds a letter from the college as well but is addressed to him. 

“I figured we could open them together.” Luke nods with shaking hands as he opens the letter. He thinks back to before all this, when the most important thing in his life was getting good grades. And now he barely has time to think about school. He’s too busy worrying about when his father will hurt him next. 

He opens the letter, his eyes scanning the first sentence. He got in. A smile spreads across his face. 

“I got in, what about you, Mike?” Luke asks his green haired friend who wears a smile as well. 

“I got in too,” he tells him with a smile. 

Ashton walks into work to see police walking the hospital halls. They seems to be looking for someone in particular. They make their way to Sarah’s room. Ashton follows closely behind them, watching as they go into her room where he father sits beside her. They handcuff her father right in front of her, Sarah cries, still trapped in his toxic love. Ashton runs into the room, holding Sarah in his arms. 

“It’s okay, Sarah. Nobody’s going to hurt you now,” he tells her as they lead her dad out of the room. She’s safe now but Luke isn’t. 

Luke sneaks out of his house later that night. He drives to Ashton’s apartment, knowing the way there by heart. He arrives there and doesn’t bother to knock on the door. It’s late at night so he isn’t surprised to see no one up and the lights out. He tiptoes to Ashton’s bedroom and crawls into bed with him, wrapping his arms around him. Ashton stirs in his sleep. 

“Luke, what are you doing here?” he asks as he slowly opens his eyes. 

“I had to see you. I love you, Ash.”

“I love you too, Luke.” Ashton kissed the blonde’s temple and pulls him closer as they go to sleep. Luke has never felt more safe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is so short, i just wanted to get an update out while I finish writing the story. There are 5 chapters left. Let me know what you think of the chapter or story so far.


	21. You Can Make it to the Sunrise

_“Full of despair inside a darkness_

_Self conscious and scared, held prisoner of war_

_Running out of air, buried in a sadness_

_Want a way out of this paralyzing world_

_And the sound of the cries when a family's loved one dies_

_It echoes through a vacant room where a young soul still resides_

 

_When the night is cold and you feel like no-one knows_

_what it's like to be the only one buried in this hole_

_You can make it to the sunrise.”_

_\- Our Last Night (Sunrise)_

 

Luke arrives home from Ashton’s apartment to be met with a very mad father.

“How many times do I have to tell you to stop seeing that boy!” his father yells.

“I won’t stop seeing him, no matter what you say or do. I love him, dad. Can’t you see that?”

“No, you do not love him! Love cannot exist between two men. You better stop seeing him or else…”

“Or else what? You’ll hit me again? You’ve already done that and I don’t care anymore. Hurt me all you want, I’m still seeing Ashton.” This makes Luke’s dad furious. The blonde is far too used to what happens next as his father starts beating him. It’s part of his and his dad’s routine, they argue and then his dad beats him. Luke wonders how much longer this will go on before he really gets hurt and ends up like Sarah or worse.

There’s a somber mood when Ashton goes into work the next morning. There’s a darkness hanging over the hospital that rainy morning. Ashton doesn’t understand at first why the staff all have sad faces. His boss calls him into his office as soon as he gets there. He hasn’t been in his boss’s office since Finn died. He knows something is terribly wrong. His boss closes the door behind him and gives Ashton a sympathetic look.

“Is everything okay?” he asks his boss, who just shakes his head.

“I understand from the other staff that you were quite close with Sarah.”

“Yes, I’ve treated her multiple times. Is she okay?” His boss places a hand on Ashton’s shoulder as he looks into his hazel eyes.

“Sarah died earlier this morning,” he tells him shattering the hazel eyed boy’s heart.

“B-but she was doing so much better. I saw her yesterday, she seemed fine,” Ashton recalls as tears spill down his face.

“Her injuries were too much for her to recover from. I’m sorry, Ashton. I understand if you need some time off work to cope with this.” Ashton just stares at the hospital floor in shock.

“Take the day off, Ashton. I’ll find someone to fill in for you.” His boss leaves his office leaving Ashton alone. He can’t believe Sarah is gone. She was so young, she hadn’t gone to high school and she never will. She’ll never go to prom or graduate, she’ll never fall in love or get married or have children. She was just 12 years old, she barely got to live.

Ashton leaves his work, sending a text to Luke to meet up with him. He drives his car to somewhere he hasn’t been in awhile. He parks his car and walks in the rain to his destination. He knows his way there by heart. He used to visit this place everyday. He reaches a simple grave stone that reads Finn Patterson. He falls to his knees and lets the tears fall.

“Ashton?” Luke says in a small voice behind him. He turns around to see Luke’s sympathetic blue eyes. He pulls him into a hug. Luke isn’t used to seeing Ashton like this, he’s never seen him like this, broken and devastated. He lets him cry into his arms for awhile. Eventually, the tears stop and they sit on a bench.

“After Finn died, I came here everyday for 3 months after his death.”

“Why’d you stop coming?”

“Calum, he told me that I would never move on or get over Finn as long as I kept on living in the past. So I had to let him go. But I still think of him a lot. Little things remind me of him, remind me of the memories we shared.”

“I lost my mom when I was 13, I still visit her grave twice a year, on her birthday and on the anniversary of her death. She understood me in a way nobody else did. When she passed away, my dad he tried his best not to show his grief but I could hear him cry himself to sleep at night. He tried to understand me like my mom did but it wasn’t the same. I still wonder what would've happened if she were still alive, would she accept me or would she be standing by my dad encouraging him as he beat me?”

“Luke, I didn’t know your mother but I think she would of accepted you for who you are. She wouldn’t let your dad do this to you. Just like how I can’t let him continue to do this to you, Luke,” Ashton tells him as Luke’s blue eyes look at his.

“What are we going to do? If we report him, it’s his word against ours.”

“Sarah died today, Luke. Her dad killed her. I can’t let that happen to you. I can’t lose you.”

“What should we do?”

“Run away with me, Luke Hemmings.”

“What? Are you crazy?” Ashton just shakes his head as a small smile spreads across his lips.

“You’re all I need, Luke. Runaway with me, we can leave this town and everyone in it behind.”

“But what about school and your job? Or Calum and Michael?”

“I can find a job anywhere, and you can finish school online. Michael and Calum will understand.”

The blonde looks at Ashton with bewildered eyes. They’re both soaking wet but neither of them notice it.

“I can’t lose you, Luke,” Ashton whispers as he pulls his face close.

“I can’t lose you either, Ash.” Luke connects their lips in a simple, breath taking kiss.

“I’ll runaway with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I leave for college Friday so I don't know how often I'll be able to update. There's only a few chapters left so I will finish this story, it just might take a month or two with school and everything. As far as my other stories go I may put them on hold or delete them. I'm not sure if I will continue writing new stories after this one, while I have all these ideas I just don't have the time to write. Let me know if you would like me to continue writing on here.


	22. Is This How it Ends?

“Is this what you call a family?  
Family!

Why are you walking away?  
Was it something I did?  
Did I make a mistake cause  
I'm trying to deal with the pain  
I don't understand this, is this how it ends?”  
 - Sleeping with Sirens (Trophy Father’s Son)

  
Luke places the last item into his bag, it’s his family photo album from when they were an actual family. Despite, the way everything has turned out, Luke is still going to miss this place. It’s still his home, it’s where he and Michael had countless sleepovers, where him and his mom had late night talks, where some of his fondest memories are but also some of his worst memories. He gets up, giving his room one final look and crepts down the stairs. He can’t help but smile when he sees the front door within sight. He’s finally going to get out, all he has to do is make it through that door and then he can be free. Him and Ashton are going to get out of this small town and make a life for themselves. One where Luke isn’t constantly looking over his shoulder for his father. He places his hand on the doorknob seeing the finish line within sight when suddenly the light is turned on and he’s pushed away from the door.

  
“Where do you think you’re going?” Luke’s dad asks as he pushes his son to the floor.

“Away from you,” Luke snaps as he stands up only to have his father shove him to the ground.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Ashton waits in his apartment for Luke. He should be here by now, he’s sent him a few texts but hasn’t heard back. He has this sick feeling in his stomach that something is very wrong. The clock strikes midnight, Luke is an hour late. Ashton grabs his keys and leaves his apartment. He speeds to Luke’s house to see his car still in his driveway. Everything seems to happen in slow motion from there. Ashton can’t seem to run fast enough to Luke’s door. He doesn’t bother knocking and barges into the house. He sees his beautiful blonde boy laying on the floor in a puddle of his own blood not moving with blood all over him. He runs over to him, wrapping him into his arms, feeling his weak heartbeat. He carries him to his car and rushes him to the hospital.He runs into his work with Luke in his arms and tears staining his cheeks.

“I need help!” he yells as he runs down the hospital halls. Doctors look to him and are quick to get Luke on a gurney and take him out of sight. Ashton goes over to the waiting room, sinking to the floor. They were going to get out, get away from all this. But now Luke is fighting for his life while Ashton paces the hospital floor waiting to hear the fate of the boy he loves.

  
After what feels like hours, Ashton is allowed to see Luke. The doctor tells him that Luke is in critical condition and is in a coma. They aren’t sure when and if he’ll wake up. Ashton enters the small room to see Luke’s body hooked up to a bunch of wires, there’s a bandage around the top of his head and his leg is elevated in a cast. He has bruises all over his body, new and old. He sits beside him, taking Luke’s pale hand into his. He just sits there with him for hours until a nurse knocks on the door.

“Luke has another visitor,” she tells him.

“Who is it?”

“His father.” Ashton’s stomach drops at those words, it takes everything inside of him to hold back his anger as Luke’s dad enters the room to see what he’s done. The nurse closes the door, leaving them alone. Ashton can’t even look at him. He did this to Luke. Luke might not wake up because of him. He hears sniffling and sees Luke’s dad is crying.

“What have I done?” he whispers as he looks to his broken son. He shakes his head as he steps closer to Luke who is unrecognizable with all the bandages covering him. He sinks to the floor and begins to weep.

“What have I done?” he repeats.

“You could have killed him,” Ashton remarks feeling no sympathy for the man who hurt the one he loves.

“I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“All this just because he likes boys, he’s still the same person he was before he came out to you. Only now he doesn’t have a parent he can trust,” Ashton tells Luke’s dad making him look up at him.

“How do I ever make this up to him? Will he ever forgive me? His mom would be ashamed of me. I can’t believe I did this to our son. I’m a monster,” he states with remorse. Ashton clenches his fist, unsympathetic to the man in front of him.

“Turn yourself in and if Luke wakes up from this, and you better hope he does, give him his space. Let him take his time to decide if he will forgive you. I sure as hell wouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t see that you really do love my son. I see that now. Take good care of him for me,” he says as he gives his son one final last look and walks out of the room where he goes to the police to turn himself in. Ashton turns back to the blonde boy, he joins him in the small hospital bed, curling up next to Luke, careful not to touch his bandages.

“I love you, Luke. Please wake up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the extremely long wait. I've been busy with college and frankly I had lost my inspiration to write for a long time. But I've had the rest of this story outlined since I took a break so I'm forcing myself to finish it. I'm not sure what I will do about Revenge. Sorry this chapter is kinda short, let me know your thoughts.


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